4 Reasons To Save My Marriage
4 Reasons To Save My Marriage
4 Reasons To Save My Marriage
For some reason, the words "for better or worse" just do not sustain themselves in the minds and hearts of the average modern American married couple that they once did. When difficulties rear their ugly heads, each spouse all but races to see who gets to their divorce lawyer first. Divorce has become the "easy" fix regardless of it's reputation for being such a stressful experience.
Financial difficulties, disagreements, and even the lack of excitement are all but guaranteed at some point in every marriage. It's just a fact of life. Unfortunately, when these things do happen, married couples often look towards separation or divorce as being "easier" than working together to salvage what they both worked so long and hard to build. However, you may still be wondering, "are there any reasons to save my marriage" if your lack of happiness has already gotten the better of you.
Consider the following:
1 - Your Partner Is Not The Cause Of Your Marital Problems
The single biggest mistake most people make in a failing marriage is to place all of the blame on their husband or wife. "He never... when he says he will" or "she is constantly nagging me about..." Sound familiar?
When you find yourself blaming your spouse for the shortcomings of your marriage, you need to remind yourself of a very important concept. There is only one person that is responsible for making you happy, and that person is yourself. If you can't be happy with yourself or find it on your own, certainly no one else will be able to succeed where you have failed. Additionally, it is important that you communicate with your partner about what's bothering you properly in order to seek any sort of agreement for positive change.
2 - The Low Period You Are Experiencing Is Only Temporary
Everyone faces hardships or low points in their lives, and married couples are definitely no exception. Unfortunately, when it happens in a marriage, no one ever seems to want to work through it together with their spouse. It's as if patience is no longer a virtue. One spouse begins to blame the other and so on until both just want out. On the other hand, if the two of them could bare with it together and hang in there just long enough, they could get passed those hardships and once again be happy.
Think about it. When you're single, you deal with similar ups and downs in life. The only real difference is that you have no choice but to "stick with it." You can't very well bail out on yourself whenever things aren't going well, can you? So, why would you think the solution to problems in your marriage is just to bail out on your spouse?
3 - Divorce Doesn't Stop Depression Or Despair
Another false assumption by those in a less-than-perfect marriage is that a divorce will magically sooth their hurt or end their depression. On the contrary, it could very well add to it. Think about all of the additional stress that the divorce alone will cause you. What remedy can be found for depression in battling relentlessly with your husband or wife over which property goes with whom, not to mention paying lawyer fees, etc.
Even after the divorce and all of the stress associated with it is over, you will likely be no more happy than you were in the marriage. What if I told you that your depression didn't derive directly from problems in your marriage. Instead, it is more likely that your depression, or that of your partner, contributed to the arrival of problems in the marriage itself. Again, if you aren't already happy with yourself, you can't expect your spouse to make you happy.
4 - Your Children Suffer The Greatest
For all the reasons to try and salvage a marriage, probably the most important is for the sake of the children. You will now have to manage to provide for your children without the support of your spouse. And, while child support may help to compensate for the lack of additional income that having two working parents in the household brings, you will have to rely on help from a babysitter or even friends and family members whenever you can't be home with your children.
More importantly, however, your children's lives will be affected by the separation or divorce no matter what age they are. Every aspect of their lives, from school to the development of their own relationships will be troubled by a decision that was in no way their own. Believe it or not, statistics also show that the children of those that seperated or divorced are much more likely to do the same later on in their own lives. And, why not? They follow the examples they are given.
If you're considering separation or divorce as a means to end the troubles in you marriage, you might consider the preceding reasons as cause for potential reevaluation. While you're at it, keep in mind that there was a time where the two of you worked and worked so well, in fact, that you both decided to take that next step of commitment and get married in the first place. Shouldn't that alone be worth a closer look?
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