Article 407: The World of Gay Persons – Part Two

Article 407: The World of Gay Persons Part Two

Hasan Yahya, Ph.Ds, professor of sociology

I live in New Zealand, pretty much at the bottom of the south island. I am 19 years of age and have know I was gay since I was probably about 11. I knew what it was but I didn't want to admit it. The first sign was when I was online and came across something with naked guys on it and it turned me on, I just tried to put it down to just being a phase.

A couple of years went by when I started noticing the guys at school, up until then I had girlfriends. At that point I would have been about 13 and things started going downhill at school. I couldn't concentrate and just didn't want to be there anymore incase someone found out, it got so bad that i even tried suicide. At home I wouldn't talk to my parents much even though I feel now that Ii have the most supportive parents in the world, I would just hide out in my room on the computer talking to guys.

Most the guys that I talked to online were pretty genuine guys, they helped me out a great deal with dealing with what I was going through. About a year later when I was 14 I decided I wanted to try something and met a guy. It was alright, we didn't have sex or anything it was mainly just kissing,but I ended up wishing I hadn't done it and hated myself even more, I know I should have waited till I met someone I really liked him and trusted him, but I wanted it now!

At the end of that year I decided I couldn't live the way I was and i had to tell someone before I done some serious harm to myself, I told my close friends at school and to my surprise they were all fine with it. I didn't lose any friends and I started to get happier. This was in the school holidays though and it all went downhill once we went back to school. More and more people started to find out. I was a pretty popular guy at school mainly coz of the crowd I hung out with but there was still a group of guys that tried to make my life hell. After putting up with this for a year and felling myself fall into a spiral of depression I decided I couldn't handle it anymore and changed school.

Once at the new school I didn't tell anyone I was gay,I didn't really see the point as I came out at my old school and if anyone asked I didn't deny it. I managed to make some friends because there were some people there that I worked with anyway. One day my friends hooked me up with a guy, We dated fora couple of months and met up most weekends. Then we decided to try sex, I wish I had have waited because we didn't even really have a good place to do it and found where ever was convenient. At the time i thought it was good and just went with it, then he broke my heart.

We broke up but I managed to get over it pretty fast, I met a few more guys after that but it never lasted very long. After I finished school I started a course at tech and met this really cute guy. We finally ended up boyfriends, I dropped out of course and got a full time job and a year later we are still together. I couldn't be happier.

Now I have made the best friends in the world, have a great job, couldn't wish for a better boyfriend and my life is a lot better. All what I can say is this advice: don't let the small stuff get you down, do what ever makes you happy. (671 words) www.askdryahya.com

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