Build Your Self-esteem With Positive Thoughts And Nine Crucial Actions
Many women have told me they grew up hearing messages that greatly harmed their self-images
. These messages continue to influence how they see their reflections in the mirror today, and it often does not match up with the way they think they should look. What do you think when you kook in a mirror? Do you think you are too fat, too short, too tall, not pretty, or not like other women?
We think this way because the images we see on magazines at the newsstand or at the grocery checkout counter offer a distorted view of reality. The covers either feature girls smiling because they are young and beautiful or hideously unflattering pictures of stars hiding from the camera because they look fat and ugly. There are never any pictures of ordinary human females women who look like us and feel just fine, thank you very much!
Self-esteem is how a person feels about the inside and the outside. Women who have poor self-esteem have heard messages while growing up that said, "You do not measure up to all the other pretty, thin, smart girls." These messages can have lifelong consequences. Women in focus groups told me they heard many of these messages and also felt their mothers had a hard time with age and really worried about losing their looks.
Although coping with society's external views of older women can be annoying, women have devised a number of coping strategies. Susan tells her age proudly, knowing that she looks healthy and strong. Marla shrugs it off, ignores it, then vents by laughing and complaining with her friends. Kathy refuses to tell anyone her age because she refuses to be categorized that way. Carol answers questions about her age by replying, "That is only relevant if we're talking about age discrimination." How old are you? If it bothers you to be asked, say: "Old enough to know better; Young enough to want more; Oh, about your age; What's it to you?" That way you can leave your age to the imagination.
A fear of getting older is not a rational response. It's just an emotion. Even if you were once embarrassed to tell your age or admit you are past menopause, you can take back your personal power.
First, be aware of--and don't be manipulated by--media messages. Next, identify and face what you are really afraid of. You may want to work with a therapist or a focus group of trusted girlfriends to do this.
Identify the negative messages you learned growing up and replace them with positive statements about yourself. Think:
* I have a great smile and eyes, not -- I'm just not pretty.
* I look good for my age, not -- I look old and decrepit.
* My knowledge, wisdom, and skills increase daily, not -- I am too old.
* I am a valuable human being, not -- I am worthless.
* I succeed at many things I try, not -- I'm a failure.
* I'm a lucky to grow older, not -- I hate growing older.
Body image issues and perfectionism add up to problems for young girls and women including eating disorders. A woman who has a distorted body image sees her body primarily in terms of some imperfection that she constantly thinks and worries about. Often these women perceive themselves as out of proportion or damaged in some way. This mis-perception, along with low self-esteem, can lead not only to eating disorders, but also to depression, anxiety and other types of phobias. These conditions all warrant medical and psychological treatment as soon as possible.
Follow these nine steps to begin improving your self-Image today without plastic surgery.
1. Surround yourself with beauty, artwork, bright colors, good music and healthy foods.
2. Get exercise and feel your body move.
3. Surround yourself with happy, fun, loving people.
4. Get rid of toxic people in your life, the ones who bring you down, belittle you, or criticize you.
5. Do not allow anyone to abuse you or neglect you.
6. Send out love and people will flock to you.
7. Be what you want to be.
8. Act "as if" you are beautiful and you will be beautiful.
9. Your thoughts and actions will make the world a beautiful place to live.
Women can learn to find a positive self-image within themselves. Changing your environment, both on the inside and on the outside, will bring you in touch with your own positive self-esteem, dignity, and worth.
by: Nancy D. O'Reilly
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