Bullies, the Bullied, and Bullying: A NYC Private School Sets an Example for Anti-Bullying Success

Bullies, the Bullied, and Bullying: A NYC Private School Sets an Example for Anti-Bullying Success

Bullying in both private and public schools is at epidemic proportions. Recent surveys show that about 50% of teens are bullied in school, while the other 50% are bullies. Advances in cyber technology have worsened the problem, extending the reach of bullies and providing an anonymity that defies anti-bullying effortsstudy us. These efforts, however, can still be successful especially when students find themselves in the right sort of school.

One such school in New York City, a small private institution with only 35 students, The Smith School, recently celebrated its 20th anniversary. The celebration was not just about the age of the school, it was a celebration of 20 years without bullying. This achievement is made more remarkable by the school's reputation for taking on kids who could not succeed at other schools (see NY Times article). This group includes bullies and the bullied, but they find themselves in a place where bullying has no place.

Are Any Schools Safe?

Few would argue that every student deserves to attend school in a safe environment. Much has been made in recent years of problems with physical aggression, especially in high-profile cases regarding guns and knives. School shootings and waves of violence directed at both students and teachers are tragedies that may never entirely heal. Sadly, another type of abuse more common but in many ways equally destructive and heartbreaking is still essentially tolerated: bullying.

Technology contributes to the problem. Adults may find it difficult to truly understand just how different life is today than for the teens in previous decades. Like the medical and military fields, bullying has kept pace with rapidly growing modern technology. Braids dipped in inkwells, schoolyard scuffles, and malicious whispering in the hallway have been replaced by ever more sophisticated and far-reaching methodsstudy us. Good old-fashioned freeze-outs, rumor mills, and name-calling still have pride of place in the bullying repertoire. Increasingly, though, it doesn't stop there. With the miracle of cyber connection, those same rumors and malicious whispers can travel a hundred times as fast and as far as they used to.

Social networks meant to build friendships have become the new bathroom wall. While being bullied was never fun (and has always been potentially scarring), cyberbullying now has the capacity to reach into the far strata of a student's existence. Gossip and scandal extend geographically and chronologically - beyond a school to the community; and beyond the present to future friends, colleagues and employers. Like traditionally bullying, cyberbullying can isolate and traumatize a student.

Can a School Address Cyberbullying?

Many schools prohibit students from using cell phones in school, but not only is this extremely difficult to enforce, it does not address the cyberbullying that happens before and after school. Parents and teachers alike are powerless to prevent teens from texting whatever messages they want. The solution then, is to address what the teens want'. Do they want to bully a schoolmate? Why? Is it simply immaturity, or a genuine desire to hurt the other student? In either case, the key is the relationship between students.

The Smith School is all about relationships. Patrick Shattuck, Dean of Academics, notes that, "Every Smith School student feels that the administrators, teachers, and other students are a very tight family". This is partly accomplished by keeping class sizes very small (5 students per class), but it is also fostered by an emphasis on mutual respect a respect that leads to mutual care giving. Shattuck continues, "Our students genuinely care about each and embrace each other's diversity"study us. The Smith School solution to bullying is really very simple you don't bully someone who you respect and care about.

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