Bullying at School, consequences
Bullying at School, consequences
Bullying at School, consequences
What is bullying?
Bullying is abusive behavior by one or more students against a victim or victims. It can be a direct attack -- teasing, taunting, threatening, stalking, name-calling, hitting, making threats, coercion, and stealing -- or more subtle through malicious gossiping, spreading rumors, and intentional exclusion. Both result in victims becoming socially rejected and isolated.
Boys tend to use physical intimidation or threats, regardless of the gender of their victims. Bullying by girls is more often verbal, usually with another girl as the target. Cyber-bullying by both boys and girls -- in online chat rooms, e-mail, and text-messaging -- is increasing.
Bullying is a common experience for many children and teens. Direct bullying seems to increase through the elementary school years, peak in the middle school/junior high school years, and decline during the high school years. Although direct physical assault seems to decrease with age, verbal abuse appears to remain constant.
Whether the bullying is direct or indirect, the key component of bullying isphysical or psychological intimidation that occurs repeatedly over time to create an ongoing pattern of harassment and abuse.
Who bullies?
Students who engage in bullying behaviors seem to have a need to feel powerful and in control. They appear to derive satisfaction from inflicting injury and suffering on others, seem to have little empathy for their victims, and often defend their actions by saying that their victims provoked them in some way.
Bullies often come from homes in whichphysical punishment is used, where striking out physically is a way to handle problems, and where parental involvement and warmth are frequently lacking.
Students who regularly display bullying behaviors are generallydefiantor oppositional toward adults,antisocial, and apt to break school rules.
Bullies appear to have little anxiety and to possess strong self-esteem. There is little evidence to support the contention that bullies victimize others because they feel bad about themselves.
Chronic bullies seem to continue their behaviors into adulthood, negatively influencing their ability to develop and maintain positive relationships, and can experience legal or criminal troubles as adults.
Bystanders also play a role in bullying:
the assistant who joins the bully
the re-enforcer who encourages the bully by observing and laughing
outsiders who avoid the bullying by staying away and not getting involved for fear of losing social status or being bullied as well
If you suspect your child is bullying others, it's important to seek help for him or her as soon as possible. Without intervention, bullying can lead to serious academic, social, emotional and legal difficulties. Talk to your child's pediatrician, teacher, principal, school counselor, or family physician. If the bullying continues, a comprehensive evaluation by amental health professionalshould be arranged. The evaluation can help you and your child understand what is causing the bullying, and help you develop a plan to stop the destructive behavior.
Who gets bullied?
Victims of bullying may beanxious, insecure, and cautious and suffer fromlow self-esteem, rarely defending themselves or retaliating when confronted by students who bully them. They may lack social skills and friends and thus are often already socially isolated. Victims tend to be close to their parents and may have parents who can be described as overprotective.
Victims of bullies often fear school and consider it to be an unsafe and unhappy place. Victims will often stay home 'sick' rather than go to school or travel on the school bus.
Victims experience real suffering that can interfere with their social and emotional development, as well as theirschool performance. Some victims of bullying have attemptedsuicide rather than continue to endure such harassment and abuse. Other victims have taken out theirangerand frustration inviolence. Most of the young people who have causedschool-related violent deaths have been victims of bullying. Experts, pointing to such tragic events as Columbine, agree that bullying can lead to serious violence, including murder and suicide.
If you suspect your child may be the victim of bullying ask him or her to tell you what's going on. It's important to respond in a positive and accepting manner. Let your child know it's not his or her fault, and that he or she did the right thing by telling you. Ask your child what he or she thinks should be done. What's already been tried? What worked and what didn't? Help your child practice what to say to the bully so he or she will be prepared the next time.
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