Divorce: When Is It The Answer?

Divorce is a strong action and it should only be used if there are no other reasonable solutions to the problems that are in the marriage

. For example, if someone has been physically abusive to you and you are not willing to tolerate it, getting a divorce is most likely the best solution.

Maybe you think you've fallen out of love with your spouse, perhaps the answer is to try and light the fires that once burned so brightly between the two of you. There was once a real reason for wedding your partner. You were in love with them. You should fight hard to rekindle the passion and the romance and work through the pains that sometimes come with a relationship.

You and your spouse should sit down and come up with a list of things that are going wrong in the relationship, from your own prospective on things. You must never talk about the list with one another and must invest some time thinking regarding what you are writing. Put your thoughts down in writing.

Once the lists are finished, switch the lists and after wards, give each other space. Have your list read over by them first and whatever the result let deal with their own feelings on their own. Whether for just a few hours or even days, you should agree not to discuss the list. This will provide the opportunity for each of you to really consider how the other person is actually feeling and to work to develop an agreeable solution.

Before you meet to talk about the lists, come to an understanding that arguing or interrupting is not allowed. Before going on for the discussion allot enough time to talk calmly and rationally and gauge the emotions prevailing for the task.

By the time you two are done talking, you should come to terms with what the other person expects out of the relationship. Ask yourself whether you can really do this. Be honest about the answer. If both agree that its just not working out, then its time for a divorce.

In every relationship both parties have needs, if they cannot be met then it might be time to move on, you will probably be much happier once you find that someone who can fulfill these needs. When you both can agree to this based on the information that you shared on the lists, the process of divorce will be much smoother.

by: Joseph Rose..

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