Stop Your Divorce

Stop Your Divorce

Stop Your Divorce

You've been married for many years but for reasons you may not fully understand, your marriage is on shaky ground, and headed for divorce. The fires of passion that once burned so brightly were snuffed out long ago, but you've both invested so much time and energy into the relationship that it seems like an incredible waste for it to end in divorce.

One of the worlds leading experts on relationships, Mort Fertel, has a theory that a long lasting relationship is not necessarily built on falling in love with the right person, rather it is simply a matter of falling in love with the partner you selected. Love is an emotional reaction that results from a powerful attraction to another person. It is an involuntary reaction to the physical, emotional and inellectual bond between a couple. Butan eduring love with someone is something that must be worked at on a consistant basis. Maintaining the loving relationship with the person you married requires time, energy, and commitment to the relationship.

If the luster has faded from your relationship, more than likely both partners equally share in the responsibility.By not putting forth an ongoing, concerted effort to nurture the relationship you will most likely loose what promised to be a long term and healthy marriage. It is possible however, to rediscover the passion, and re-ignite the romance that once burned so brightly in your lives. You can reverse the slide towards divorce and forge a renewed relationship that is happier and healthier than the original.

If you're serious about making an attempt to circumvent your divorce it will be necessary to come face to face with the events that led your marriage to the brink of disaster in the first place. It's necessary to erase as many negatives as possible and start over with a clean slate. You could always tempt fate, go ahead and get the divorce and start over again with someone new. But if you didn't learn your lessons from the experience of your broken marriage, your new relationship will start out with two strikes against it.

What was it about your original partner that attracted you in the first place? The chances are better than not that even though there have been some negative experiences, they are still the same person you fell in love with. If you can both agree, each partner should make a list of what he or she admires about the other, and then the positive aspects of the marriage itself, Then set about compliing a list of the negatives. If your partner is hesitant to participate in the list building process, you should go ahead and do it yourself.

After the list(s) are completed, get together with your partner and have a frank discussion about what you learned from the excercise. When you examine each seperate issue objectively most of them will probably seem rather trivial. But when lumped together they become like a cancer which threatens to destroy the marriage from the inside out. Make a pact to work together to change the things about the relationship that need to change,and work to reinforce the positives. Agree to only speak positively about each other to yourselves and to others. Reinforce the good sides of both partners characters and profess your love to each other often. It may sound a little ridiculous, but if you practice being in love, you will find love. You will then work to sustain the newly forged relationship and stoke the flames of romance once again. If in contrast, you dwell on the negative aspects of your marriage you'll be rewarded with a negative experience.

Stop Your Divorce

By: Aldo Tate

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