Ending A Relationship - Breaking Up Is So Hard To Do
Ending A Relationship - Breaking Up Is So Hard To Do
Does your to-do list have these things on it?
- Mop the kitchen
- Feed the dog
- Break up with my significant other
I'm sure at least one of these is not written down on your list, but it may be something that's on your mind to do. Most times a relationship goes sour long before either party takes the action of officially ending it. This is because breaking up is so hard to do.
Sometimes break ups occur amidst great drama including bleach being poured on clothes that are then thrown out of a window onto the lawn.
Other times, the relationship dies quietly like an unstoked flame in a fireplace.
The question is what's the best way to end a relationship without either party getting hurt?
Take some time and truly assess the reason why you want to end the relationship. The initial thought that comes to you may not be the true reason. Once you're clear on this, the next step to ending your relationship is to be honest with yourself and your partner. So when you have a talk with them about the commencement of your relationship you'll be clear on your reasoning.
You want to schedule a time to talk face-to-face, if possible, to your mate. It is better if you don't use the phone or the computer to end your relationship. If distance is an issue, have your discussion as soon as possible. Don't wait for a convenient time to come. You don't want to drag it on any longer than you have to.
Be compassionate during this conversation. If you'd like to maintain a friendship with your ex after the break up, you should end the relationship with feelings of care and compassion.
You don't want your partner to be on the defensive. Stick to the positive things you're taking away from your time in this relationship with them. Include the positive memories and experiences that you'll cherish. Remain available to your partner during the break up in case they become emotional. Respond to their needs in this period of separation.
Your partner may be overwhelmed by the breakup and say things they don't really mean. Don't take what they say to heart during this time. Let their words roll off of you like water.
There are several ways your partner could respond once the relationship is concluded. They may want more space or they may want to see you a few times. Be understanding and give them what they need if its within your ability to do.
Even though you should be amiable during this relationship transition, don't let them take you on a guilt trip. You do want to retain a positive relationship with your partner if at all possible, but you don't want to do it at the cost of your peace.
You may be thinking that there could be an opportunity in the future to reconnect. Ending the relationship doesn't necessarily mean that the book is closed forever. Only you and your partner can determine that.
Almost all relationships can be salvaged if specific conditions are met. Sometimes a period of time for the parties to mature is required. All relationships take effort. If you're willing to invest that effort you could come out on the other side of this as a stronger couple.
On the other hand, if you just want to go your separate ways, the best thing to do is make a clean break and move on.
Ending a relationship is tough. You do want to use an approach that will work for both parties. The Magic Of Making Up includes a systemized approach to ending things in the best possible way. Get it now and start the breaking up process. Even though breaking up is so hard to do it can be done without much stress.
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