From Cary, Barrington And Mchenry, Il-when Is It Time To Consult A Marriage Or Family Counselor?

In many respects, relationship and family problems are a natural part of life; they

can tell a person that something is amiss in their communication and problem solving, and can be a powerful part of life's learning experiences. In many instances, however, these arguments, conflicts and anger episodes are unnecessary and significantly impair the course and quality of everyday life for spouses and children.

Family discord, including too much arguing, shouting and anger is a problem experienced by scores of people, and in many cases, these people may have difficulty finding a solution themselves. Doctors and psychiatrists may prescribe psychiatric medications for a wide variety of psychological problems which may contribute to conflicts from depression to explosive anger and beyond, but such medications can also have serious side effects, not the least of which is long-term addiction in the cases of Xanax, Valium and other anti-anxiety drugs.

Finding a realistic and practical solution to your marital and family problems may seem out of reach if you have grappled with these frustrating issues for long periods of time, but thanks to modern advances in psychological science and family counseling techniques, these problems can be resolved.

Determining when to consult with a psychologist or marital or family counselor may be difficult for some people faced with these concerns. Conventional wisdom may have led you to rely on the advice and treatment of psychiatrists or pastoral or religious counselors, even when they yield disappointing results.

Or, you may feel as though nothing can be of help, or may worry that the cost of counseling, using a marital or family counselor, may be too great, especially when you are unsure about what your insurance will cover.

Because of the significant degree to which arguing, hostility, shouting and pervasive criticism can be debilitating, it is of great importance for you to seek out help early and aggressively. Though it can be difficult for you to maintain a proactive attitude towards treatment when other counseling has failed, the rewards of working specifically with a marriage or family therapist are often substantial.

Some people who experience regular episodes of arguing and fighting between spouses and, sometimes between kids too, may worry that the discord, anxiety and depression is just par for the course or too ordinary to justify special counseling. Of course, if you feel this way, this is ultimately a personal choice that you must make on your own.

Even when family or spousal fighting, anger and discord may seem "normal," however, its ability to interfere with your tranquility, everyday activities and the enjoyment of your daily life should signify a need to seek out quality, targeted care from a family or marriage counselor. Marriage and family therapists are available to consult with you during an initial consultation and describe the types of counseling available, and then you can make a more informed decision about the appropriateness of given therapies.

The simple step of holding such a consultation, however, can be a major turning point in the life of a person facing the challenges of family or marital discord. Overcoming your family or spouses inclination to argue, fight and even get abusive can often seem like an uphill battle, but with the growing sophistication and availability of psychological techniques and qualified therapists, you can get a great deal of much-needed help even when previous counseling has failed.

by: Mike Shery

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