Herpes Can Be Confusing
I talk with a lot of individuals that, for one reason or another
, have had a sexual contact outside of an otherwise happy, long term, monogamous relationship. Many of these individuals are upset with themselves and worried that their "mistake" is going to end up hurting or ending that relationship. They often wish they could take it back or fix it so that it never happened.
Unfortunately, as counselors we can not undo what is done, but what we can do is explain the importance of waiting the right amount of time before testing and screening for the appropriate STD's based on the exposure that has occurred. Typically that's the real the reason they've called in the first place.
They'll want to cover their tracks, make sure they don't give their partner anything. Not only to protect their partner from the harm of an unknown STD, but also to ensure that a surprise diagnosis doesn't end up blowing the whistle on them.
The odd thing is, often they are not concerned about herpes. Frequently, they'll ask to leave out the herpes test because they "know" they don't have it, or they wouldn't have been with someone that had had a herpes outbreak. They'll only want to test for the "bad" things like HIV or hepatitis.
While herpes typically doesn't cause problems that will negatively impact your health or shorten your life span, herpes can be quite a nuisance. Not only for those that have a hard time dealing with constant outbreaks, but also for those that are asymptomatic.
Statistically, thirty percent of new herpes infections will not cause an initial outbreak, and the more time that passes with out an outbreak, the less likely that person is to ever have one. So, someone could be infected with herpes for years, even decades, without knowing that they have it.
Now, if that person is in, what has for been for a considerable period of time, their own monogamous relationship, it is very possible for both of those people to have herpes and not know it. If neither partner has had outbreaks, and their only exposure is to each other, then there would be nothing to suggest they be tested.
For years people were told by their doctors to stop the spread of herpes by avoiding sex while having an outbreak. We know now that seventy percent of the time that herpes is transmitted there are no visual signs or symptoms on the infected partner. As time passes, herpes outbreaks typically occur less and less frequently, because of this individuals that used to have regular outbreaks often stop worrying about preventing transmission. Usually they don't think they are still contagious.
Herpes is transmitted through skin to skin contact during viral shedding which is a microscopic event. Episodes of viral shedding may occur with out ever triggering an outbreak. If someone who had never been tested for herpes were shedding virus there would be little way for them to know they were contagious, and condoms can't always stop herpes transmission. In order for a condom to be effective it must be covering the area in which the viral shedding is occurring.
If you've had sex with a partner whose herpes status is unknown the only way to really know your herpes status is to allow time for your body to have produced antibodies and then have a herpes type specific blood test done.
The various scenarios involving herpes transmission are numerous and can be quite confusing. You should always feel free to discuss any concerns or questions you have with a counselor. Trained counselors are available to answer your questions at
www.accesshivandstdtesting.com.
And remember, whenever possible, have new partners tested before having sex, and when it's not possible, use a condom until you do.
Herpes Can Be Confusing
By: John Caskanett
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