How Important Is Family Business Conflict Resolution?
Family business conflict rarely seems to require experts
, it does however call on the family members to be willing to do things differently and even to do some things that have not been willing to do in the past.
The truth is you already know in your heart what should be done in order to manage the relationships that are uncomfortable for everyone, even if no one is willing to identify them as conflicts.
The bottom line, you don't have to read another workplace conflict resolution book to get the answer. You probably should read the book, but it's not necessary.
When it comes to managing the person to person differences that cause conflict in all its forms to exist and even thrive in your family owned company, all you have to do is put your long term self-interest at the top of your mind.
Think about it. What do you really want your family business to look like down the road and what part do you want to play in its future?
With that picture firmly imbedded in your mind do you think it will be easier to achieve via continued conflict and aggravation or through cooperation, negotiation, and compromise?
In other words, what is the smartest way to remove the roadblocks standing in the way of your long term success?
And do not use the expressions "yes, but" to justify any actions that will not result in you achieving your long term goals.
No more excuses, if the big picture of you in the business is important, everything else can be set aside and unimportant fluff you will not let get in the way of your future.
Naturally you have read the studies that virtually two-thirds of the voluntary terminations, people quitting, are the result of unresolved family business conflict?
This is really the tip of the iceberg, since most businesses are family owned and have no formal grievance process, the employees often feel they have to deal with the conflict in other ways because their either can't or won't quit their family business.
Stop whining and blaming others, don't appeal to your mom or dad or your uncle. Stop complaining to your spouse and kicking the cat because of how unfair life is. Get over it!
Chances are the person causing your business conflict has been causing family conflict as well.
And since they aren't going anywhere, either because no one else in town will hire them or they would never be able to make as much money anyplace else, you have to step up and take charge of the situation for yourself.
You are going to have to deal with them, probably forever, so make the best of it. Your future has got to be more important than that.
That's the real objective isn't it, to make the most of your future?
So look at the roadblocks as stepping stones, taking the 'mind over matter' approach, if you can act like you don't mind their antics sooner or later they'll get the idea that their behaviors don't matter.
Seriously, when it comes to family business conflict, if you don't let them get you down it really won't matter.
Read a workplace conflict resolution book, go to another seminar, take a class on anger management, then commit yourself to the proposition that you will do whatever it takes to make the business an even greater success in the future than it has been in the past.
If they think they won, so what? If their parking place is closer to the front door, who cares? If their house is bigger or their kids have nicer cars, it's not worth spending your time crying about.
If they want to take credit for the successes you've created fine, everyone that matters will know the score. If you make them rich in the process that's fine too, maybe they'll take early retirement.
Most importantly you will know you did the right thing for the business, your family, and for yourself!
by: Wayne Messick
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