How To Become A Better Conversationalist - 7 Keys To Engaging Conversations

How To Become A Better Conversationalist - 7 Keys To Engaging Conversations

Have you ever had conversations that went so well but you were unable to tell why? In this article, I'm going to share with you some tips on how to become a better conversationalist. Perhaps you can identify with some of them?

1. Find A Common Topic

To really engage with another person, there needs to be a common topic or interest that the both of you can talk about, or the conversation will just fizzle out eventually. Your job is to find this common topic.

You could find out some things about the other person and then tell some things about yourself. Toss out certain topics until you find a topic you are both passionate about and the conversation will proceed on smoothly.

2. Two Way Street

A conversation is an activity requiring the participation of two people. Naturally, this would mean the active involvement of two people. Both parties need to contribute to the conversation; it is a two way street.

Merely rambling on about you without giving the other party a chance to talk will almost certainly guarantee a failed conversation. Instead, ask questions about the other party and give them a chance to share. When they do, share something about you too. Remember, this game needs to be played by two people for it to be fun.

3. Engage Everyone

Should you find yourself in a group where certain members are rather quiet, take the initiative to give them the chance to talk. Perhaps they are too shy to take the initiative themselves and the fact that you gave them the chance will register well with them.

An excellent conversationalist is able to engage everyone around him or her and stimulate as much conversation as possible.

4. Mingle!

Try not to spend too long talking to one person, however much you enjoy the conversation. Social gatherings are places where mingling is expected and new friends are made. If you are really captivated by that one person, get their contact details and catch up with them later. Remember, social gatherings are not designed for two people to hole up in a corner and ignore everyone else.

5. Be Descriptive

A good conversationalist uses details, precise descriptions and colorful nouns when speaking. Use sensory images and language if possible. All these subtle nuances help to make whatever it is that you are saying much more interesting to your listeners.

6. Mirroring

Mirroring is a technique commonly used in the field of persuasion. It involves mimicking the gestures and tone of the other party to make them feel that you are similar with them. This makes them feel more comfortable around you and familiarity can be established more easily. Perhaps you could 'mirror' the tone and volume of your voice to match the other person, or even copy some of his hand gestures. However, take care to do it subtly and non-excessively. Overdoing it could make you look weird to the other person.

7. Stick To Everyday Topics

Unless everybody in a group is an ardent fan of Shakespearean literature, avoid such topics which not everyone may like. Stick to everyday topics like vacation plans for example. Perhaps even a discussion about the weather would be a good place to start! The key is to keep everyone involved and engaged.

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