How To Break Out Of Your Rut In This New World
I have a friend who has recently been bitten by the "fitness bug" Its quite strange
. She is not actually training for anything, yet trains hours every day. She pays $40 an hour, (which apparently is cheap) three times a week to a personal trainer. He now gets her to fill in a "food diary" so he can check what she eats everyday.
Its a little bit sad really, she originally went out to give herself a better life yet now she cannot even enjoy many of its simple joys. Eating popcorn at the movies fills her with guilt. A dinner out with friends will be finished early if she has training tomorrow. She isn't actually training for anything specific, yet her regime rules her life.
I have another friend who used to be 100% dedicated to his wife. Everything he did was about their quality of life and the time they spent together.
This friend was very concientious at work. Of course he was. His inspiration was the wellbeing of those he loved. So one day he got promoted. It was well deserved. When this happened though, something in his mind changed. All of a sudden he started measuring his worth by how far up the corporate ladder he could climb. His wife and family were relegated to a competing interest for his time. Time with them was time away from his career pursuits.
To my mind, both these friends have lost their way. They have forgotten about the real things in their lives, the important things. They have gotten so caught up in an idea, they've lost all balance. They've became slaves to it.
With my first friend, she originally wanted to lose some weight and live a healthier, fuller and happier lifestyle. Losing sight of this, she now trains and eats to a regimen that excludes life outside this regimen. My second friend now sees time spent with his wife as a competing interest to time spent at the office, a constraint which gets in the way of his commitment to the job.
200 years ago, people did not do this. Life was about living, life was about family and work was about putting food on the table. The only people for whom work was the end, rather than the means, were slaves. And slavery has been outlawed. Yet today, people constantly get the means confused with the end, and then wonder why at retirement there is nothing else in their lives.
Have a look at your own life. This is something I do all the time. Is there anything you seem to be dedicating yourself to, that really should be a means to a higher purpose. Is there anything you working on for the sake of the work, rather than the benefits that work should bring?
If there is, have you become a slave to an idea? Are you toiling for no purpose. Remember you only have one life, so review this work and try to work out what it will bring you in 10 - 20 years? Will you look back on your toil and smile at the benefits it brought you? Or will you look back and see a landscape of opportunities missed?
If you have become a slave to something, its probably because you have lost sight of the important things in your life. So take a weekend off whatever you are working on and spend it reviewing what is important to you. While doing this, make sure you separate out the things that are important to your boss, or trainer, as their goals are not yours. They have vested interests in manipulating your goals to be in line with theirs.
You'll know you have done this well when the things that are important to you, are things that your work can "buy", not measurements of your work. For example, a career oriented goal should not be completing the project on time and under budget, it should be affording that holiday in Tahiti. And a fitness goal should not be losing 20kg and improving your resting pulse to 68 beats per minute, it should be being competitive while playing tennis with a bunch of friends, which you will follow up with a guilt free meal and a couple of drinks.
Going through this type of process, if done properly, will give you perspective. Once you have it, you will be in control of your life again. And being back in control, you'll see work or training is there to support a higher purpose. And from here, you'll have a vantage point from which you can recognise better methods, and oppotunities to find a better path to your goals. You won't be stuck, trapped as a slave to your ideas.
by: Byron Jonas
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