How To Gain Confidence - Stop Yourself Feeling Nervous?

When bosses are looking for new employees and people are looking for prospective partners

, there is one characteristic that stands out more than others? Its confidence. Confidence accentuates and makes all your other characteristics better. Its like adding a magic herb to a meal that makes everything else taste better.

The conventional wisdom is that when you are confident, you can banish feeling nervous to history. Arent confident people relaxed? Most of the clients who I work with are high performing individuals who need to show complete confidence in their sphere of excellence, whether that be business, acting, sports or music. In these arenas, there is no room for any appearance of doubt or uncertainty.

Because of this drive for the flawless image of self-assurance and confidence, my clients often tell me that they expect to get to a state where they stop feeling nervous. They believe that the aim of building confidence is to get to the point that you transcend nervousness.

I have to break it to them that a state of zero nervousness is neither realistic or desirable. After all a certain degree of nerves (if controlled) drives peak performance. If we are too relaxed we dont push ourselves to achieve excellence.

But the other important thing to remember is that confidence is not the absence of feeling nervous. Confident people also feel nervous. The difference is how they deal with it.

A person with low self-confidence reacts badly to stress and anxiety. When they are feeling nervous, it makes them start to doubt themselves and their abilities. On the other hand a confident person uses the anxiety and feeling nervous as a trigger to take action. They feel the fear, but are able to act on it.

Knowing that confidence doesnt mean the absence of fear is a very important lesson to learn. Its not whether you feel anxiety or not. Its what you do with it.

by: Eednak Nagum

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