How To Handle Jealousy In Your Relationship
Nothing can ruin a relationship or marriage faster than jealously
. Jealousy creates anxiety, anger, loneliness, hate, fear. No one thinks clearly when jealous.
Having a relationship with a jealous person is tough. The jealous person acts untrusting or unworthy. Jealousy makes the person unattractive, even repulsive.
No one wants a jealous mate and no one likes being jealous.
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If your own insecurity or low self-image makes you think badly of yourself, you often begin to wonder what your significant other sees in you. You will start to question why your partner would want to stay with you and fear that he or she will inevitably meet someone "better". The fear that your partner will wake up one day and realize there is someone better out there can lead to suspicion on your part.
When suspicious thoughts begin to enter the mind of an insecure person the green-eyed monster will begin to rear his ugly head. You may find yourself questioning your partners actions or becoming too needy of your partners time and attention. If you don't discuss your insecurities with your partner, questions may begin to fill your head. Why does he always come home later on Tuesday nights"who is he seeing? Why does she always talk so much about that new co-worker"does she like him?
Before you can learn how to control jealousy, you have to understand exactly what jealousy is. When it comes right down to it, jealousy is nothing more than a sad excuse for attempting to control a relationship. What often happens is that the jealousy actually tears a relationship apart. If you find yourself suffering from this juvenile emotion, you need to get it under control before you find yourself alone as most partners will simply not tolerate a jealous companion.
Ask yourself why you're thinking jealous thoughts or why you are feeling that way. You may be surprised about the reasons because sometimes, they can be so naive and selfish. You may even discover some sort of insecurity within yourself. If you find yourself in the same page, then start fixing things with your ego. Admit your insecurities and use your other strengths to boost your esteem up. If, on the other hand, you find your partner's actions to be the cause of your jealousy, then it would be best to talk with the person and straighten things out. Discussing your issues is always the best way to deal with things.
Sharing your true feelings with someone without blaming them can create a deep sense of connection between the two of you and open up a dialogue about the path of your relationship. Use "I" instead of "you." Instead of saying, "You shouldn't have done that," say, "I felt terrible when that happened."
Remember your lessons in communication, as they are helpful, even in healthy relationships. Instead of quoting what you believe a person said, try telling them how they made you feel, or preface the memory of a conversation with "I thought you said..." or " It seemed like you were trying to say...".
Want to Know Exactly How to Get Your Ex Back?Often the listener may misinterpret, and still others, perhaps the speaker just used a poor choice of words to relay their thoughts.
Jealousy can let you lose the ability to control your temper. Always get things clear before confronting your partner.
If you are feeling jealous, you shouldnt bottle up your emotions, because then you are leaving yourself open to the risk of exploding with anger one day when you really get fed up. Talk to your mate about your feelings. Tell him why you feel that way, and give him an opportunity to react. Dont approach the subject during an argument about something else, or your mate is likely to respond with anger and defensiveness. Bring it up when the two of you are alone, calm, and have plenty of time to talk. He might be able to explain the nature of his relationships so that you no longer feel the pangs of jealousy. Or, worst case scenario, you might find out that your fears are valid.
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