How To Improve Self Esteem - The First 3 Things You Need To Do

Many people do not see just how potentially destructive low self esteem can be

. Having low self worth can significantly decrease the quality of your life in general--it can prevent you from building healthy and happy relationships; it can rob you of a stable and fulfilling career and can put you at risk of developing behavioral and mental problems. I myself have experienced these disheartening circumstances; in fact, they were what caused me to seek out ways to improve my self esteem.

I don't think anybody wants to have low self esteem. Sadly though, experiences and circumstances that resulted to the formation of these deep-rooted emotional issues are often beyond our control. Thankfully, we have control over what we choose to do with the self-esteem that we have. You can either sulk with your low self esteem all your life or decide to work on improving it. But, you need to understand that improving your self esteem would not happen overnight--it would take persistent effort in a span of months or even years. There are a lot of things to do to successfully transform your self esteem, but here are the first three things you have to work on:

Fight off those self-limiting beliefs. The pessimistic nagging voice inside your head plays a big role in perpetuating your feelings of low self worth. Getting rid of these thoughts is one of the fundamental tasks for any person who would like to raise his self esteem. You can begin by making a conscious effort to listen to the normal chitchats that go about inside your head. You can then work on writing down the negative statements that you usually hear. After you have identified your detrimental self-limiting beliefs, challenge and refute them. Take a look at each thought and try to challenge and refute them with a corresponding positive statement. To make your claim even more powerful, you can provide proof to support it. Let us take the negative thought "I cannot do anything well" as an example. You can counter this thought by writing down: "Sure, I can do a lot of things well" and then list down things that you have successfully done in the past.

Start being more assertive. If you have formed the practice of putting aside your needs, beliefs and emotions in an effort to please or avoid upsetting other people, then you ought to stop that habit now. Being passive and blatantly allowing the rights of others to be more important than your own fuels your feelings of low self worth. So stop being quiet and passive all the time and start asking for what you want and speaking up for yourself. Remember that what you think and feel is no less important than anyone else's.

Choose the right crowd. A few years ago, back when I was still struggling to resolve my self esteem issues, I made one very important realization, and that is how significantly the people I surrounded myself with influenced the perception and feelings I had towards myself. This realization prompted me to phase some people out of my life, strengthen bonds with some and allow new relationships to grow. If you want to really be successful in improving your self esteem, make sure that you spend time with positive and supportive people--people who genuinely like, value and respect you. If you have peers who are rather critical of you, try to make as little contact with them as possible. Surround yourself only with those people who can contribute to your aim for self-improvement.

by: Kara Heissman

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