How To Mentally Prepare Yourself For The Possibility Of Infidelity
The most tragic time in anyone's life will be the day that they realize their legitimate suspicion of a cheating spouse.
Once the thought enters your mind, I can guarantee the you will never get out until you find the truth. You know it to be true - The very thought that your spouse could be cheating on you is just too much to bear, and it will plague your every waking moment until you seek the truth.
Or at least, that's how it seems right now.
The fact of the matter is that there's another way you can approach this, and that's with solid mental preparation.
Mental Preparation Can Make or Break Your Marriage
Now, please don't interpret anything that I'm saying as your responsibility, obligation, or blame. It was your spouse's fault that they cheated, no ifs ands or buts about it.
There is no excuse for cheating - None.
That being said, you're left with a choice as to whether or not you want to work towards a healthy marriage even with an unfaithful spouse, or not. Many times if you really love your spouse, the answer will be yes.
Well, the key to recovering from infidelity is mental preparation.
But what exactly does that entail?
It's About Staying Calm
When I say mental preparation with regards to infidelity, really what I'm telling you to do is to stay calm, to stay distant and to stay ready for the worst.
Obviously you should stay invested in your marriage, especially if you plan on recovery after the affair, but for the time being you can't afford to let your emotions get involved anymore than they already are.
Unfortunately there is no way to investigate an affair with a warm heart; you have to be cold. It is a necessity.
Anything else is just too painful.
You'll Be Given More Time to Come to Terms
Fortunately, with good mental preparation one of the advantages you'll recieve is that you're given more time to deal with all those turbulent emotions storming through your mind and imagination.
When you're looking at infidelity with a big picture mentality, many times that can help you come to terms with what has happened in your marriage.
I don't really know what else to say other than that, but I hope the you can understand what I'm getting at.
Remember that it doesn't have to make sense, you just have to accept that it happened... If you love your spouse even after what they did in your marriage then you've done your part. But your marriage won't be able to recover until you fully move past the affair.
If that has an effect on your decision to stay with your spouse, then so be it.
Understanding is Key to Forgiveness
Forgiving infidelity is something that really, in the end, cannot be taught. It can only be felt.
However, one way to help yourself feel it, or at least move closer to that point, is by reflecting on what has happened to you and the events leading up to it.
I'm not saying forgiveness will ever be easy, but hopefully by preparing yourself mentally for the truth of an adulterous relationship, you will be more likely to come out stronger.
by: Genevive Dougherty
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