How To Save Your Marriage And Avoid Divorce
Is your marriage so troubled that it is past the point of no return
? Are you or your spouse even contemplating on a divorce? Are there any ways to save your marriage and stop divorce?
If you think that your matrimony home is on the verge of collapse and you can do nothing about it, then you are wrong. Your marriage can be saved, that is if you and your spouse want to salvage it.
In the United States alone, almost one million marriages ended up in divorce annually and the number is increasing year by year. Divorce lawyers are having a field day and laughing all the way to their banks at your expense. What has gone wrong to such happy unions that ended up so terribly wrong? What about your own marriage, what went wrong? How many of these marriages could be saved, including yours?
Marriage counselors report that most marriages can be saved and divorce avoided if both parties are willing to sit down and do something about it with good counselling and to make sincere efforts to save the marriage, it can be done. I have seen it happened countless times with my clients who are willing to make effort to stop divorce and make up.
However, what I know for sure is that if your marriage is in trouble and you are doing nothing or are unwilling to do anyting to save it, the outcome of a divorce or separation is a guaranteed end result. If you or better yet, both of you do something, there is a much better chance that your marriage will be saved.
Here are some guides which many of my clients found to be effective in saving their relationship with their spouses.
Stop Blaming - If you carry on the blame game and vice versa, both of you will end up without a spouse. That is a certainty. Marriage is a give and take union. It is not a I take you give game. There is no point in standing firm to your lofty principle of 50-50. Sometimes you have to give 75 and take 25 and sometimes it is your turn to take 75 and give 25, vice versa.
Stop blaming yourself too. Because if everyone is to start blaming their partners or themselves the marriages get frozen into a pattern of blame that obstinately obstructs any prospect of progress. It is much easier to point the finger and insist that "It's your fault" or "It's my fault". By doing that, is it going to resolve any issues? All blaming does is to prevent any shift of position change. Remember this, blame is the fuel that feeds the flame of divorce, including self blame.
Take Charge - Take charge of the situation and decide that you and your spouse can do things to save your marriage. Nothing is going to change if no one intiates any changes and both of you will have to take charge to turn the situation around.
Deep down inside both of you, you do know what exactly you ought to do in order to save your marriage and stop divorce. If you don't think you know, it is because you don't want to know and you are being blinded by being obstinate or anger and is sticking to your guns. All these negative feelings if allowed to simmer will eventually destroy your marriage. Once both of you start to take charge, you will know what action to take to save your marriage.
Get Help From Experts - Do not listen to your friends. Although many friends and relatives may give advise out of good intention, the advices may not be right for you or worse, worsen your situation further, simply because they are not trained experts.
Think of it this way, many people will go to their divorced friends thinking that these friends has had the experienced of going through a divorce, so they should be in a better position to help. That is a load of rubbish.
If they are able to help, then they would have saved their own marriages and would not have their own marriages ended in divorces, right? In other words, they can only teach you how to get divorced and may even gleefully introduce you to their divorce lawyers so that your road to a broken family is ascertained.
So get help from marriage counselors and trained experts who are in much better position to help you.
Wishing you an everlasting blissful marriage.
by: Chris Chew
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