I Want To Change Myself

It seems to go through a cool winter, my heart is so cold

. In the beginning I should be cheerful for entertainment, instead I am not glad. Possibly others are completely disappointed about me.

Perhaps, I have to admit all around me. I am still like before when I meet some depressed things, I will lose my temper. I am useless. He is wrong but I am not right before him.

After that things, I think I did something incorrect. The outcome is unpredictable. Others will see me in a wired way. I can not join in them any longer. I am not intelligent and I really do not know how to handle my emotion.

The life is all the time not gone be ok and I always get angry. I apprehend I should not have done somewhat when I was enraged. It is my character that I never think the result before act. I am not good at saving the situation and always want to escape them. I really want to change myself better.

My father is right. I should not like my mother. But I was with my mother since I was a baby. Who else should I be like? I see my future from my mother. I really do not want to be the one I see. I want to change myself.

I think I fritter away the past twenty years. I hope I can change myself after the birthday of 21. I wish I would be converted into an intelligent woman.

Only this situation makes me think so much. I never have time to think about my future before. Now my family is in a bad situation and this make me have no choice to be concerned about how I live in the next time. I will continuously ask myself what I want to do.

I do not know what I can do in this society. I am not beautiful, bad figure, no high education and even without high intelligent.

I am out of this society. I am almost given up by my family. My father has high expectation on me, but I always make him disappointed. I really want to hear his prize on me, but it vanished several years ago. Now what I can see is his serious face without any smile. His serous and critical words are always around me. So does my mother. I have to go through everyday in the criticizing. I have no choice but hiding in my room. I really hate myself why I am so stupid.

My 22 birthday is coming around. I do not know how to pass the day. In spite of this, I will work hard and let my parents lead a better life.

Destiny, I will challenge you. I want to change the fate and myself.

I am on the way.

I Want To Change Myself

By: Lisha

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