I'm Getting A Divorce: Does Mediation Really Work?
I'm Getting A Divorce: Does Mediation Really Work
?
As a divorce mediation attorney in Walnut Creek, CA who has been practicing mediation for nearly 25 years, I've been at the forefront of a process that has now become very commonplace.
Mediation for divorce is now a commonly accepted practice for good reason. It works. Not only does it give you concrete tools to navigate one of the most painful passages of your life, it also provides a win-win framework that sets the stage for the relationship you and your spouse will carry forward long after the divorce is completed. This is especially important if you have children.
That's because the underlying paradigm for mediation is ultimately one of shared purpose and shared knowledge - not the classic paradigm of win-lose that often creates and adversarial relationship that will only become more contentious with time.
Don't get me wrong, divorce mediation is not a paradise without challenges. You and your spouse have to be willing to sit down and talk things over. If there is too much hurt and/or anger, this may not be a solution for you. Ultimately, you and your spouse need to be able to engage constructively with one another and in real time to resolve relevant issues.
If that is possible, divorce mediation can bring forth a pathway that is inherently less contentious because you and your spouse literally sit down at the same time in the same room and engage the skills of a trained neutral mediator. With the mediator's help you can work through some of the tough issues and move the dissolution of your marriage steadily forward without unexpected and often time-consuming setbacks and breaches of trust.
Not only is mediation a confidential process, it is also flexible enough to meet the needs of many situations because it gives you and your spouse the latitude and tools to settle conflict and work together as co-parents for your children. During the 25 years I have been helping couples end their marriage (I'm now practicing in Walnut Creek and my collaborative colleagues and I also serve clients throughout Contra Costa and Alameda counties, including Orinda and East Bay), I have yet to meet a couple who knowingly wants to create an environment that is hurtful for their children.
Yet, that is often what unwittingly results from more adversarial divorces. Mediation provides a way for you and your spouse to work things out without becoming adversarial role models for your children. It also moves you into a paradigm of working things out, so you can carry that forward in your relationship as co-parents.
Mediation is unique because the mediator remains a neutral third party who can help educate both you and your spouse about the law. It also helps you and your spouse get clarity on solutions that can mutually meet both your needs and desires. This open exchange of information helps both you and your spouse negotiate with more certainty and confidence. Most important, in mediation, you and your spouse are in control of your own divorce. And because it is a completely voluntary process, it can be ended by either you or your spouse at any time.
Because everyone is working with the same information in real time, this process often moves much faster than a traditional, adversarial divorce. In a mediation setting, with an experienced and well-trained mediator, you can cover a lot of ground: financial issues including child custody and child support, parenting schedules, health insurance coverage, property division, possible tax consequences, and spousal support, to name only a few.
Research shows that couples who use divorce mediation are more satisfied with the process. They also spend less money on a process that is far less protracted than a traditional divorce. Because of this, mediation is often the right solution to help you and your spouse move on with your lives.
It's my role as a divorce and mediation attorney in Walnut Creek, CA to empower both you and your spouse with the information you need to make the very best decisions. Also, mediators can prepare all the necessary documents, including the marital settlement agreement, which ultimately helps you to avoid the costs associated with subpoenas, depositions and other adversarial proceedings.
To find out more about me, the mediation attorney walnut creek, come by our website, or call me at 925-932-7026. Let me put my extensive expertise to work for you. No one sets out on the journey of marriage expecting to get divorced. But now that you have chosen to end your marriage, do yourself the favor of engaging in a respectful mediation. Don't lose any more time; call me today.
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