If Humans Were Objects - The Microsoft Excel Visual Basic Event-Handling Model In Human Terms

If Humans Were Objects - The Microsoft Excel Visual Basic Event-Handling Model In Human Terms

There are 3 universal constants in human life: we are born; we get married (maybe); and we die (there are lots of nice bits in between, but we'll exclude them from this article).

If humans had an event-driven model (and who knows, maybe we do in our brains somewhere?), the events would be as follows:

- Birth

- BeforeMarriage

- AfterMarriage

- Death

The first thing to note is that the Birth and Death events have no before and after parts - that's because (religious views notwithstanding) not much happens before you are born, and at least for the purposes of this article not much happens after you die either.

The interesting event is the Marriage one. To illustrate this, consider the famous scene from Jane Eyre, when Mr. Rochester is about to get married to his beloved Jane. The priest asks the congregation if they know of anyone who has any objection to the union, and a man speaks up and says that Mr. Rochester is already married.

This announcement cancels the BeforeMarriage event, in the same way as you can interrupt BeforePrint andBeforeSave events in Excel. The only difference is that in Excel you do this by setting the boolean Cancel argument to True, whereas in real life all that you have to do is stand at the back of a church and shout out at the right time.

Had Mr. Rochester succeeded in getting married, this would have triggered several AfterMarriage events, such as the throwing of confetti and the change of Jane's maiden name from Eyre to Rochester. In the same way, you can react to an event such as printing or saving in Excel using the AfterPrint or AfterSave event. At this point it's too late to stop the printing or saving happening - the event has finished - but you can react to this, perhaps by displaying a message on screen or amending some parameters in a spreadsheet.

And now I have reached the end of this article, so the ArticleFinished event will fire, followed shortly by the ArticleSubmit event and (in quick succession) the BeforeMakeCoffee and AfterMakeCoffee events. If only everything in life was as logical and simple as Visual Basic!

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