Infidelity Help - How to Stop Comparing Yourself to Her
Infidelity Help - How to Stop Comparing Yourself to Her
Like many before you, you are suffering from the infidelity of your partner. You are probably comparing yourself to the other woman and thinking negative thoughts like:
Is she sexier than me? Or better in bed?
How can I compete, I also have to cope with a family, home, job, etc. and now, on top of that, I have to find time for 'infidelity help' (as it is sometimes referred to it)
She probably has more to offer, intellectually, stylish or ...
I don't have what it takes to compete with her...
So now you are also your own worst enemy. Unfortunately the affair is reality and cannot be eliminated, but with infidelity help the above negative thoughts can be brought under control.
In this article, I'm going to give you some methods aimed at putting a stop to this nonsense and rally yourself to be your own best friend again. At the end of the day everyone struck down by betrayal can use infidelity help.
Infidelity's Damaging Effects on Your Self-Esteem
Discovering that your marriage did not manage to keep your partner within its four walls, definitely undermines your self-esteem. It is normal for you to experience some self-doubt when thoughts such as the above keep rushing through your head.
After an affair, you are faced with handling the loss of trust in your relationship. Infidelity help recognizes that in addition to your trust issues with your husband, you begin to lose trust in your own self-image.
The following steps will help you recover your self-esteem and help you start rebuilding your world.
Infidelity Help, step 1: Record your negative thoughts
Keep a record of your negative thoughts. You need these to focus on the steps that follow.
Infidelity Help, step 2: Knock the Other Woman Off her Pedestal
Challenge these thoughts you are having, e.g. if this other woman, who you have built up as some sort of earthbound goddess, were truly so amazing, she wouldn't be involved with a married man. Remind yourself of this often. She was not even capable of getting her own man.
Infidelity Help, step 3: Re-create Your Picture of the Other Woman
Now that you have knocked her off her pedestal, have some fun with your image of her e.g.
Do you imagine her as more sexy? Give her stubby legs, tiny boobs and pimples on her face
More stylish than you are? Imagine her wearing your grandmother's wardrobe.
Infidelity Help, step 4: Place Yourself Back On the Pedestal
It's time to be your own best friend, now more than ever. Make a list of all of your wonderful qualities, e.g. you have great legs, beautiful hair, a loving character, etc. Every time an image of the other woman pops up and you begin to compare yourself, get the list of your qualities and read it out loud.
Use self-affirmations such as these as a means to heal your self-esteem.
More Infidelity Help?
Restoring self-esteem is covered extensively in Dr. Frank Gunzburg Ph.D.'s program How to Survive An Affair.
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