Managing Difficult People And 12 Steps To Success
Managing difficult people is tough work
Managing difficult people is tough work. Dealing with difficult people at work or in your personal life is never easy. However, most advice focuses on how you communicate directly with them. But planning and preparation is an important and often overlooked part of dealing with difficult people. So here are 12 of my top steps to help you in successfully preparing to deal with difficult people in any situation.
1. LISTEN WITH YOUR EYES AND EARS
Start by listening with both your ears and eyes. Your ears will hear the verbal messages. Your eyes will see the more powerful non-verbal communication of others. Be aware of what others are saying and how they are acting. Often issues can be quickly dealt with before they become problems when you are aware of what is happening around you.
2. DO NOT IGNORE IT ALL
Ignoring it will not make it go away. When managing others you need to respond to their needs. Ignoring people you find difficult does not work and often makes it worse. You have to be prepared to take action when dealing with difficult people.
3. CHANGE YOUR OUTLOOK
Decide to change your outlook and attitude in managing difficult people. If you are dealing with others you find stressful, see it as a learning experience not a problem. Be open to learning the great lessons that these people have brought your way.
4. CHANGE THE WAY YOU RESPOND
When you change your outlook, you also change your responses to others. You will now be more aware and interested in exploring other strategies in dealing with others that you never have considered before.
5. STAY AS OBJECTIVE AS YOU CAN
Aim to remain as objective as you can. Try to remove all subjectivity in managing difficult people. The more subjective you are, the more emotional you become. Once you become emotional you lose your ability to think and act clearly. So stay in control by striving to remain objective and deal with the facts.
6. REMAIN CALM AND PROFESSIONAL
To help you remain objective think of yourself as a cool, calm and collected professional. Not a cold and heartless one. But calm and professional in how you handle others at work and outside of work.
7. LOOK FROM THE OUTSIDE IN
Try and step back and look at the situation from the outside looking in. As if you were an observer. This will help you see the bigger picture in dealing with others and stressful situations.
8. CHOOSE YOUR BATTLES CAREFULLY
Decide carefully what issues you need to pursue and what you just need to let go. Sometimes in managing others you find difficult, you see everything they do in a negative light. You are then constantly fighting battles with them about everything. Smaller issues you would otherwise easily let go now become part of a constant battleground.
9. AIM TO BE OPEN AND HONEST
Do not involve yourself in emotional game playing. Always be honest and open. Your reputation is very important and everyone needs to trust you and your honesty at all times.
10. BE RESPECTFUL OF OTHER PEOPLE
No matter how annoying and frustrating you find others, remain respectful. Abusing others and being disrespectful only reinforces a lack of control on your part. Respectful communication should always be your goal.
11. HAVE EMPATHY FOR ANOTHER HUMAN BEING
Remember you are dealing with another human being, with all their strengths and weaknesses. Showing empathy often changes your relationship with another person and can open up real communication channels.
12. GET READY TO DIVE IN DEEPER
Managing difficult people means understanding that what you see on the surface is only the tip of the iceberg. To find out the cause of why someone is behaving in a certain way means being prepared to go deeper in communicating with them.
THE FOUNDATIONS OF YOUR SUCCESS
Following these 12 steps is a great foundation to ensuring your success in dealing with people in general and especially in managing difficult people.
by: Judy Esmond
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