NLP Doesn't Have to Be Rocket Science
NLP Doesn't Have to Be Rocket Science
NLP Doesn't Have to Be Rocket Science
A life coach has to have the correct type of training, which helps them to understand how a persons mind and body language often speak the unspoken words and unless you have the ability to know what to look for from the unspoken word as well as what the person is actually saying you will miss so much of what is actually going on for that person.
We all have Metaprograms and the Language patterns, we pick them up as we grow up from your parents, teachers and the culture you are brought up in. Metaprograms are not an either / or choice as they operate along a sliding scale ranging from one preference to the other. There are many more Metaprograms but I am only going to discuss six of them today and in simple layman's terms.
Proactive / Reactive
If you are Proactive type person,you will take charge and get things done. You like to spot solutions to issues or problems and thrive on fire fighting and getting things done.
If you are Reactive type person,then you wait for others to come to the front and you only take action when you consider the time is right. Be careful not to over review yourself and put yourself in a state of paralysis.
Options and Procedures -
If you are an Options type person,you get bored by doing the same things day in day out and in the same order etc, but the funny thing is that you have to know the process you are using step by step before you can play with the process. i.e. I am an options person so I need to know the processes I am using or delivering inside out. But then I can experiment a little and vary the way I do things to make it interesting for me.
For example if I have a four step process to go through i.e. 1, 2,3,4, once I know them well enough, I will probably then deliver them 2, 4,1,3, purely because it gives me variety and then the next time I deliver it 1,4,2,3. Don't get me wrong there are some processes you have to deliver in the way they have been designed, but if it can be changed and you still get the same end result, then I probably will change the layout.
For example if I have six different ways to get from my home to my place of work, then I will change routes every so many days because I get board of the same route every day. The danger for me is that I can go off on a tangent in any direction and need to be brought back on track.
If you are a Procedures type person,then you need to follow a set process or procedure to the letter and not deviate at all, in fact if something interrupts your process you can be thrown out of sink and feel very uncomfortable. Because a procedural type person has to follow the laid down process i.e. 1,2,3,4, and not vary them at all.
He is a real life example where I worked with a colleague that was a procedural and I am an optional type person, we were both coaches and trainers and we had a workshop to deliver together. We made a great team and enjoy each others company.
Well one day we were about to deliver this workshop, which was about coaching and it comprised of part power point presentation, part flip chart and various interactive exercises. I saw a sudden shock horror look on the colleagues face, when I asked what was the matter he replied the projector has different connections than those to our laptop? Me being optional stated whats the problems we will just improvise.
My colleague said we can't to that we don't have time the candidates will be here in a minute. Well I like a challenge and of course it suited me to deliver this presentation in a different way than usual!
At first he froze saying we can't the impact without the power point presentation will be reduced, nonsense I said, come on lets think of an alternative way to deliver this material using what we have. After a few minutes my colleague had devised a process and format that you could then follow and I did my own thing as usual.
There is no right or wrong with Metaprograms it is simple preference, when working on projects it is often better to have both types working together, because options type come up with lots of ideas and the procedural type will format the ideas into a process to follow.
Toward or Away From
People either invest time, energy and resources moving "toward" or " away" from something they find enjoyable or something they wish to avoid.
If you are a towards type person,you will move towards what you are aiming for and when you set goals, they tend to be something you have to move forward and onwards towards your goal.
If you are an away from type person,it is the reverse to some degree, the goals you set for example will be in the negative because they are to get you away from something you don't want. So what is the goal? i.e. I don't want to work here anymore, the mind can't work on a negative goal, so what do you want instead?
Again another example, don't think of pink elephants or tell a young child be careful mind you don't spill that blackcurrant on the white carpet? What happens you either think it or do it!
Internal or External
If you are a Internally Referenced type person,you will know when you have done a good job and will not need anyone to tell you! If you have to give feedback to an internally referenced type person, you will need to deliver it in a way that the person has thought of it themselves. for example if I said you know yourself that that is right,for example when giving feedback they will internalise and potentially agree with the feedback, because they are likely to come back with ya your right I did and I agree! They are harder to manage in some ways, because you always have to think before giving feedback or challenging them. On the plus side they know what they want and can be left to work on their own, as they want to achieve and prefer working primarily on their own.
If you are an Externally Referenced type person,you require regular feedback about how you are doing, this needs to be from external sources, such as MI, feedback, Media, Recognition etc. etc. They need this reassurance to enable them to know what is working and what is not, but sometimes it can come across as if the are unsure and a bit insecure. Which is not true it is purely because their way of identifying if they have done a good job is by external sources.
So lets imagine you have an internally referenced manager and an externally referenced employee, what could happen here? The manager will be quite direct and not understand and will not want to comfort or reassure the employee. Resulting in the employee becoming upset and feeling they are no good at there job?
Lets put it the other way round, you have an externally referenced manager and an internally referenced employee, what might happen? Well it depends on how the manager delivers his or her message or feedback, because remember the internally referenced employee has already decided whether he/she has achieved and if it is up to standard, and does not really want anyone else to tell them unless it matches their own views? Potential explosion.
Global or Detail
If you are a Global type person,you like the amount of information being given to you to be delivered in a big chunk, bullet point, brief statement. You do not like lots of information it over whelms you, your time span of attention wains and you loose the will to live! i.e. get to the point, stop going round the houses.
If you are a Detail type person,you need lots of information in fact the more the better, you have to have as much as possible to be able to know exactly what is required. Bullet points don't work for you and you would prefer three pages of information rather that three bullet points.
Example 1 - ever had a text from your mate and it is very basic, only limited information, i.e. had a great holiday? you text back what did you get up too? and they reply oh this and that. If you are a Detailed person that would really frustrate you. You crave for more info and gossip!
Example 2 - same situation but from a Global person texting and then receiving from a Detailed person - same question, well we arrived at the airport at 6.30am, so we had a big breakfast, had a look at the shops and then we set off at 7.55am. We arrived at the New York at 1.24pm and took a taxi to the hotel. Well you have never seen anything like etc. And that is only the first day!
Again in life and business have both types is very important, because both Global and Detail are vital to overall success.
Sameness or Difference
If you are a Sameness type person,you do not like change or disruption in your life, for the western world approx 65% of the people do not like any sudden changes. We like routine, the comfort and stability of that routine brings. Your safe you know what is going on, at work you build your little nest to make you feel safe. i.e. little photos on your desk, your favourite mouse mat, a pen holder etc.etc. Change to a sameness person is not good, it spells trouble me, this means I have to change and I don't want to or see why I need to?
If you are a Difference type person,in the western world you are the minority, but you thrive on change, you get board quickly and love new challenges. So when things change around you you embrace them. In fact you long for change to make your life more exciting.
Here are some questions relating to the metaprogram filter sameness and difference. (I will respond in a couple of days):
If you had to make changes in the work place, how would you go about tackling the various types of employees in your work place?
1. How would you sell the benefits of any changes?
2. Who would be the most difficult to convince?
3. How could you use the your existing resources to help you make the required changes?
4. What would be the benefits of any changes?
Martin Biginelli is a UK based life coach who also provides professional business coaching to small businesses and corporate clients. You can find out more about these services, as well as life skills coaching by visiting his website at http://www.CoachingFourSuccess.com.
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