Overcoming Low Self Esteem

Wouldn't it feel great to be one of those people that people noticed

? You would be the person to stand out from the background. Just think what a helpful social skill you'd possess. You would stand out during any job interview, be remembered, you'd also make an impression on a blind date, you'd be the person getting the phone call. Maybe that's not how it happens to you at the moment, are you one way or another permanently in the background? Do less well qualified or less knowledgeable people seem to be getting the opportunities? It's likely that you are merely not making an impression on the appropriate people and odds are that it's because you are not beating low self confidence and being too shy in your attitude.

I'm not suggesting that you develop into a bighead but taking cover behind lack of confidence will mean you lose out on so much. Modesty is a respectable quality to possess but as soon as lack of confidence is inhibiting your social skills, you know you've got to transform. Life is designed for living and living the finest life you can.

Have you forever been shy? Would you say you are a genuinely shy person? Does lack of confidence run in your family? The great news is that there is no genetic basis why you are shy and you can transform it. We possess the skill to transform and be who we aspire to be. There are two significant things we need to resolve: the first is beating low self confidence and leaving the shy person behind; and the other is to stop labelling yourself as a shy person - no one is biologically shy - you've educated yourself to be shy either consciously or involuntarily. The great news is you possess the skill to transform.

If you tell yourself something lots of times each day, you are training your brain to be whatever you tell it to be eg "I'm too shy to ....." "I couldn't think of speaking to...". You are labelling yourself as shy by affirming the lack of confidence each instance you think you are shy. We behave in a particular way because of the mind trap - the mind believes whatever you tell it - you are instructing it you are shy and voila you are shy! The great news is that you can transform whatever you think.

"The possibility of stepping into a higher plane is quite real for everyone. It requires no force or effort or sacrifice. It involves little more than changing our ideas about what is normal." Deepak Chopra

The initial thing to adjust is to look at yourself in a new-found way. Instruct yourself you can transform. You are beginning a different stage in your life. You are instantly going to perform in a changed way. You no longer think of how shy you used to be but you think of the social circumstances you are in and how you are planning to perform in it. You will be poised, friendly and at ease, whether you are asking a question at work or at a dinner party. You will be in control of your confidence in all situations. You can create your future by imagining how you aspire to be. If you think about yourself with assurance, you will perform with certainty and people will notice you as self-confident.

The adage by Henry Ford holds true - "Whether You Believe You Can, Or You Can't, You Are Right"

Some shy people exploit alcohol as a way to lose their inhibitions and turn into a "different" person. This is not a useful way to overcome your lack of confidence in the long term. Overcoming low self confidence in the long term means you need to transform how you think. If you adjust your mind set and think with assurance, you will transform your life in the long term.

One of the reasons shy people draw on alcohol to bolster their self confidence is that it makes other people seem less intimidating. It transforms you from shy introvert to outgoing extrovert but it's not the real you. To acquire real self confidence you need to transform your thinking and start to look at other people differently when you meet them.

The answer to your transformation is through your mind and your imagination. You have got to aspire to change and believe you are a self-confident person equipped to meet and greet the world. Your mind ought to be receptive to change and with this you have got to also believe other people deserve to be treated the same. You have got to meet people with an receptive mind and believe they are welcoming you with an open mind. Life is intended for living not for hiding behind. Believe you can.

This article was written by Dee Brady the creator of www.secretsocialskills.com where you can find more information on overcoming lack of confidence.

by: Dee Brady

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