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Parenting Tip - Upbringing And Lifestyle Forms Children Characters

Children grow up the way they are brought up

Children grow up the way they are brought up. Upbringing and lifestyle are the criteria in forming children's character and behavior.

Compare the two scenarios.

1. Nhung* is 5 years old from Vietnam. She is born from a poor family running small business selling Beef Noodle Soup at the backstreet. Every morning, she wakes up at 6am to help her parents set up the stall, carry raw packed noodles, wash vegetables and dishes. Her hands are always dirty and oily.

Nhung has never been to school or heard about computers. However, she is very obedient, hardworking and polite. She always greets the customers by their name. She never own any toys except a 'to he' (a sculpture rice figurine) which her mother gave her. To her, that toy was a luxury and she cherish it a lot.


2. Priscilla* is 5 years old from Australia. Her parents are lecturers and well-do-to. She attend kindergarten at 8am and have to be dragged out of bed by 7.20am. After school, she refuses to take her lunch and asked to be fed so that she could play her favorite laptop games. She has 8 soft toys, 2 barbie dolls, 12 puzzles, lots of princess stickers, personal kids kitchen and make-up set - just to name a few. But, she never tidy up after playing. She has a maid at home to do the job. She gets to attend swimming and art lessons which she never appreciates. She never greets anyone.

We certainly cannot choose the place or family to be born. Notice that children character are not purely inborn but they are formed by family's upbringing and lifestyle. Both Nhung and Priscilla are 5 year old girls but being born in different country, exposed to different environment and caregivers will form them into two very different and extreme personalities.

So What Can We Do As Parents and Caregivers?

1. Train children to be responsible of their belonging. They should be taught about ownership and responsibilities of keeping their belongings.

2. Materialism. Well-to-do parents need not shower children with unnecessary quantities of toys and enrichment classes. Would they appreciate?

3. Greetings. Every child should learn to treat adults with respect. It does not cause them anything to be polite but tell them they will be doted dearly if they learn to greet and respect.

4. 5 year olds are definitely capable of self feeding. Encourage independence and discipline by not allowing her to play games until she finishes her lunch.

5. Healthy lifestyle. If Priscilla's caregivers were to tuck her to bed by 9pm or prepare her for sufficient sleep, she would not have difficulty waking, would she?


These are very common examples of issues in upbringing children in today's modern world. I would suggest caregivers to rethink about upbringing and parenting style - if they have one in the first place?

*not her real name. story description is purely author's point of view with no intention to coincide with any child in particular.

Parenting Tip - Upbringing And Lifestyle Forms Children Characters

By: Justina Wang
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