Perception of reality

An excerpt from my book 'The JourneyHome' - Autobiography of an American Swamihttp://www.thejourneyhomebook.com

For reviews on this book, visithttp://www.radhanath.com.

It was cold, but smoke from cooking fire filled the air. Suddenly, quite unexpectedly, I was literally brought to my knees by culture shock. My eyes burned from the smoke. I felt dizzy and nauseated, deeply disoriented and afraid. All at once, I found it impossible to identify with anything my five senses perceived. Utterly alienated, my ego succumbed to a painful breakdown. On my knees, sweating with emotion, I struggled to connect something to the world that I knew. I failed. I felt totally disconnected. Although the dire poverty was disheartening, the people of Herat appeared to be the happiest, most carefree people I'd ever seen. This surreal combination of poverty and happiness short-circuited my intellect.

Old men sat on the roadside smoking from large water pipes. The scent of the arid desert dust blended with the acrid aroma of hashish. The sights, smells and sounds were disconcertingly foreign to my senses. I was alone in a culture where nothing existed that I could relate to.

As I sat motionless on the roadside, a lonely alien in a distant universe, I prayed to be spared from this confusion. What was happening to me? What was the cause of this bewilderment? Why was I so affected? I grappled to find myself. From birth, I'd identified with my external surroundings. Not until this moment could I fathom the extent to which I had been conditioned. Just as wearing green-colored glasses tinges everything we see as green, so according to our surroundings and experience, we have a particular perception of reality. The conceptions perceived by my body and mind had become my identity. Now these familiar conceptions had evaporated, casting me into a void. God please help me. Who am I? Who, really am I?

The world around me seemed to disappear as my prayer and meditation transported me into a state where a silent inner presence predominated over the phenomenal world. There I discovered a precious truth that awakened a sense of shelter and freedom. I am the soul, distinct from the world of externals, a child of God. The blaze of culture shock had acted like the rays of the sun to dissipate the fog of misconception. I felt liberated. Flooded with gratitude, I knew that Herat would forever remain a sacred place on the map of my heart.

Perception of reality

By: Radhanath Maharaj

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