Save Your Marriage By Using Communication

A marriage must contain communication as it is an extremely important role in the relationship

. A breakdown of communication between a couple in a marriage is the main reason that the marriage starts to fall apart. To meet both your needs, your spouse and you need to have openness and honesty which are vital in a marriage. By shutting your spouse out of one's life by refusing to talk or to listen to them, a marriage is placed on a course of almost definite destruction.

Communicate with your spouse by sharing your thoughts and feelings, talk to each other and try to resolve any outstanding issues by listening to one another. A couple needs open communication in order to be able to share their thoughts and feelings. When you bottle up emotions inside a person, they will inevitably be released and that can lead to arguments, resentment and other problems. Stating your issue in a calm and respectful manner will open up good communication. Greater and deeper intimacy can be achieved by sharing what is in your heart with your spouse. Use the words 'I think' rather then 'I feel' in a sentence. This way you have expressed a thought and not a feeling. Try using the sentence "When you [fill in the issue here] it makes me feel..." when addressing a person's behavior. Your partner will fully understand your emotions and reactions by doing that in this great way.

If on the receiving end of an issue, always take time to listen to what your partner is saying about the issue. Listening and hearing what your spouse is saying are two different things. To fully understand what the other person is saying, you need to let your partner say everything he or she has to say, and then react to them in an equally calm and respectful manner. Remember not to reject your spouse's feelings by saying things like 'Don't worry, be happy' or 'You shouldn't feel that way'. Rejecting a feeling is rejecting the person feeling it.

The key to staying calm and respectful after hearing your partners issue with your behavior is to not react at the time you hear the complaint. Take time to think about their feelings, your feelings, and how the issue has affected you, your spouse and your marriage. When you react first without stopping to think, you are reacting with your feelings rather then your thoughts. Your spouse will not understand your feelings if you are screaming or shouting trying to resolve an issue.

The most important thing is finding a solution to resolve the problem. Nothing is achieved by hoping the problem will just disappear or focusing on the point that there may not be a solution to your problem. There is always a solution to every problem but, the solution usually depends on behavior modification on both of your parts.

Changing the way you communicate is definitely effective when it comes to saving your marriage. Although it might be hard at first, it is better than resorting to divorce when the relationship turns bad.

by: Matt Reese

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