Saving Your Marriage, 4 Strategies That Work

Saving Your Marriage, 4 Strategies That Work

Things in life do not always go as planed and I am sure you never thought things could get to this point, but they have and now you find yourself facing the very real possibility that your marriage may be over for good. If you still love your spouse and you believe both of you can make things work out it is very important to remember that there are many things that can help with saving your marriage.

It is easy for you and your spouse to get burned out with day to day responsibilities like housework, work, kids, etc. These things can take away a lot of your energy and all of the romance and can make it extremely easy for the both of you to drift far apart. The first step you and your spouse need to take is simply to acknowledge that this is a real problem and not an insurmountable obstacle. Do not mistake this taking each other for granted as a sign that you don't love each other anymore. Love changes throughout the course of any relationship, this is normal, but that doesn't mean that just because the two of you aren't still in the 'crazy in love' stage of your relationship that you can't get back to it.

You both need to sit down and talk openly and honestly about how you are feeling, but before you do that here are a few important rules you both need to agree to before you start saving your marriage.

1. Both of you will allow the other to speak as long as they need. You will not interrupt, except to ask an occasional question, and you will not get mad and defensive or walk off in a huff.

2. When it's your turn to talk you will look for the most diplomatic way to say things. You will not use this time as an opportunity to verbally attack your spouse or to bring up old arguments and resentments or problems of the past.

3. Before you sit down to have your discussion you will put the kids to bed, turn off the t.v., put away the cell phone, etc. This is the time when the two of you need to be able to focus on each other and the conversation 100% of the time.

4. Make a time for the two of you to have this discussion. Don't try to just pounce on your partner when they walk in the door from a hard day at work. Instead, plan this discussion ahead of time when both of you will have plenty of time and be rested and relaxed.

These rules, if followed, can help you and your spouse learn to communicate more effectively. Lack of effective communication is the number one problem many couples have. If the two of you can learn to change the way you communicate so that each of you is able to actually hear what the other person is saying, you will have a much better chance of working through all of your problems in your relationship.

If both are not willing to work together to find ways of saving your marriage, then you may want to call it a day and find a way to move on. I don't mean to sound callous, but one person cannot save the marriage on his or her own, it will take both of you working together to make any difference in the quality of your relationship.

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