Self Therapy
Venus Cow Says We have all had the basic instruction "don't lie" rammed home for
as long as we can remember by our parents, our teachers and our mentors. We have all been on the receiving end of a lie that has manifested itself into a train crash and felt the pain. And naturally we have all blamed the perpetrator of the lie for the devastation.
Looking to others for the reasons why our individual life is miserable, in chaos, is the perfect sub conscious cop out to protect our own fragile ego and we all do it unconsciously if we allow ourselves. The interesting thing about blaming others it totally protects us from having to make changes in ourselves (doing some work) and keeps us in the holding pattern of madness/neurosis, our psyche (our true being) perpetually wishes us to break. That's why we are unhappy and don't know why.
The truth is until you address your own lies, you don't have a hope in hell of doing anything to help anyone else because talking is your least effective form of communication, unless it's to yourself.
The reason most are so disconnected from their own truth, it is impossible to hear it clearly from somebody else. So we dismiss the information given as "Easier said than done." because the behaviour of the person brave enough to give us our truth invariably doesn't parallel their words of wisdom, I.E. doesn't make sense to us. We must accept, as fact the way others see us is our truth because other people are not in our head, our thought process and only have our actions to go on.
Throughout this journey we will learn tools to connect who we think we are to our behaviour. We will build an unbreakable bridge between thought and action excluding the opinions and truth of others. The principle being you can't participate in a team until you know and understand the rules of the game. Until you have developed some skills to contribute to the end result, you are useless. Imagine being asked to play in football match knowing absolutely nothing about the game or how to play it. You might turn up in high heels, 10 minutes after kick off. You don't know what to wear, what time it starts, how long it lasts. By the time you've got the outfit sorted, so you can at least have a go, it's half time. You put that behind you and start the second half with gusto but you are unfit and after five minutes running up and down the pitch it's over for you and you haven't even kicked the ball yet. You are useless and feel terrible. You didn't get the desired result. You did your best and it got you nowhere. Blame, quit and never try again, the pattern. Experience tells us we were rubbish so we never, ever have another go. The reason in truth you wouldn't put yourself in the situation in the first place.
Unfortunately life, unlike football is not something you can easily cop out of unless you are prepared to kill yourself. When swamped by discord and stress we must recognise we are useless in life and have failed if we truly strive for happiness, peace and harmony. Misery is not the human condition, something to be endured because that is just the way it is. If that were the case many more people would check out than do, as committing suicide would make sense. However mastering living, like mastering football, takes time, commitment and dedication and most importantly will. It is a difficult concept to grasp because who has mastered their life, no one. Who gets it right all the time, no one. Who is always in control, no one. So we have no template to learn from. By our very nature we learn everything we do by copying (modelling) with one exception; our own truth, quite simply because it is unique to us.
So if you accept the fact you cannot learn your truth from someone else, the way nature has preconditioned us to learn you have to use a different method. Like Sigmund Freud, we call it Splendid Isolation because it is splendid and cannot be interfered with or influenced by anybody else. Your truth is yours and yours alone.
When you are dealing with your mind for the first time you are in unknown territory. By definition you cannot gain insight without experience and experience by its very nature is outside of your control. (Two people faced with identical circumstances, riding a roller coaster for example, will never have an identical experience.) However like Wayne Rooney and David Beckham you can reach the peak of your game. The question is how much do you want to score the winning goal for England in the final of the World Cup? Only when you have recognised that and truly believe it as your truth can you work towards it. No goal is unrealistic if it is true to you however living with that goal means also recognising fifteen pints and a Vindaloo after the match doesn't make sense if you are working towards being the best footballer in the world. When Thomas Edison talked on the subject of genius he said it comprised of two parts in specific proportions, inspiration 10% and perspiration 90% and as the great showman Cy Coleman concurred, It's Not Where You Start But Where You Finish.
Self Therapy
By: Venus Cow
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