Spiritual Relationships

RELATIONSHIP AS A SPIRITUAL PATH

RELATIONSHIP AS A SPIRITUAL PATH

What makes us "spiritual" beings? The concept of spirituality is derived from "spiritus," meaning vitality or the breath of life. When we are connected to that force, like an electric charge, our soul awakes; the more we stay connected to that energy, the stronger and more alive is our soul. Our relationships present a constant opportunity to tap into this power.

SPIRITUAL PRINCIPALS

Consider spiritual ideals, such as faith, truth, surrender, patience and compassion. As we practice these principals in our relationships, they have a synergistic effect, reinforcing one another and strengthening us. Faith that we will not disintegrate from loneliness, fear, shame, or rejection allows us to risk separateness from our partner, as well as honesty about our feelings. Faith in a higher power makes it possible to surrender our well-being and self-esteem to something other than another person.

With faith, we gain the courage to be honest at the risk losing the relationship. This builds a stronger sense of self. The expression of our vulnerability allows unconditional love to be present, generating healing and strengthening the soul. Additionally, when unconditional love is present, it is safe to tell the truth. Each time we risk being vulnerable, more freedom and trust grow in the relationship. Our ability to risk grows, and we achieve deeper levels of self-acceptance and compassion. Our anxiety, and the need for defensive behaviors that cause problems in relationships lessen. In this way, we become more present, and our lives become more rich and vital.

Acceptance and the ability to surrender require patience, which comes from faith. If we want to relinquish manipulating and controlling our relationships, we must have the confidence to wait. Compassion develops from surrendering the demands of the ego, from self-knowledge, and ultimately self-acceptance. Self-acceptance is essential for satisfying relationships, in that we can only accept and have compassion for our partner to the degree to which we accept and have compassion for ourselves. We begin to understand our partner's struggles and become less reactive, making it safer for both to be vulnerable.

Look for my next installment on relationships as a mode of healing.

Copyright, Darlene Lancer, MFT 2007

Spiritual Relationships

By: Darlene Lancer, MFT

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