Take control of your life by raising your self-esteem

Take control of your life by raising your self-esteem

According to me, being in control of your life means knowing exactly what you want and making sure that you get it. If you are in control of your life YOU decide what happens. You don't just let yourself be pushed by other forces outside of yourself. You are the captain and your life is the ship. You decide the destination and the means of getting their. If you don't take control of your life you are merely a little ant that happened to be on board of the ship and who lets itself be carried from place to place without any influence over the steering wheel.

If you have low self-esteem you don't dare to dream. Deep inside you don't feel like you deserve asking for what you want. You are like a little child who has learnt that it is better to sit quietly and wait to see what happens instead of a child who loudly tells everyone that he/she does not like bananas but likes apples. The quiet child is equally likely to get served either a banana or an apple but the child with high self-esteem is more likely to get the preferred apple than the banana. If you don't dare to decide what you want, whether you get it or not is merely a matter of luck. To get what you want you need to know what you want. When did you last write a list of all the things that you want? You need to dare to do it! If you feel that writing a wish list is a silly idea it's a sign that your self-esteem is so low that you don't believe that your wishes could (or even should) come true.

Some people dare to dream about what they want but they still doubt that their dreams will come true. This is also a sign of low self-esteem. If you feel in this way you need to raise your self-esteem. Whether you believe that your dreams can come true or believe that they cannot come true, you will be right.

Nobody stops you from achieving your goals apart from yourself. Many people with low self-esteem paralyze themselves. Because they do not believe in their own ability and they believe that the world out there is uncontrollable and scary, the feel helpless. Feeling helpless is not useful for getting anywhere in life. If you feel helpless you will paralyze yourself. Think about all powerful political and spiritual leaders that have made history. Do you think that they felt helpless? No! They believed that they could make a difference and they did (to the better or the worse). Now you may argue that they succeeded because they had charisma, intelligence and so on but that you don't have these qualities. You are wrong! They didn't have these qualities when they first decided what they wanted to do, but they developed these in order to achieve their goals. Whatever skills you may think that you lack you can develop these or use somebody else's skills in order to achieve what you want to achieve.

If you do raise your self-esteem, you will start to realise that you do deserve good things in your life. With higher self-esteem you will start to dream more bravely about all the things that you want. If you want them badly enough you will get them. With high self-esteem you will know that you can reach your goals, and because you know that this is true you will start to figure out ways to reach them. Even when you get stuck and cannot see the solution to a particular part of your plan, you will continue to look for a method until you find it. You will not give up so easily when you have high self-esteem.

Another consequence of raising your self-esteem is that you will no longer feel a need to defend yourself or to hide yourself. Regardless of what other people think you will know that you are on the right track. With high self-esteem you will not be afraid of failing. Failing is just a method of finding out what does not work and it brings you closer to the solution that does work. Consequently you will dare to take more risks. The more risks you dare to take the faster you will move towards your goal. The more different methods that you try, the more likely that you will find the method that takes you to your goal.

Liv Miyagawa - The Self-Esteem Coach

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