If any of these are occurring the remedies are so super simple
. First you mow lamps around until you get the right ones with the right heights so that the light is not shining at you from directly under the shade. Then you look at the lamps that you just can't deal with and you exchange them out to other areas of the house first if you can and get new ones if you can't. Then you look at the diffusing quality of your shades. Are they evenly dispersing the light. If yes great, if not then you will need to learn to properly take lamp shade measurements and replace them. There is much more to correctly taking lamp shade measurements than meets the eye.