The Quality of Your Life Depends on…Your Self Image!
The Quality of Your Life Depends onYour Self Image!
The term "poor self-image" refers to a generally negative feeling about one's self. Authorities on the subject have not developed a precise definition for it nor have they pinpointed an exact cause.
Accordingly, there is no agreed upon way to handle it. Gary Craig, founder of EFT, defines poor self image, based on EFT's precise approach and pinpoints an exact cause as:
"The cause of a poor self image is an accumulation of negative emotions about one's self."
Therefore if we eliminate the negative emotions then we eliminate the cause. And without the cause the poor self image fades away.
Poor self image may be the world's number one ailment. It is so prevalent that almost everyone carries around some degree of it. Our self image is often equated with our self confidence. We tend to "radiate" it through our mannerisms, posture, words and gestures and others "pick it up" whether we want them to or not.
Accordingly, it has a major effect on our business, social and personal performance. Sometimes jobs, promotions and sales are won or lost depending on how we radiate our inner thoughts to others.
Friendships and romantic encounters can flourish or die depending on how we project our feelings about ourselves. The lower our self image, the easier it is to get upset and the more intense become our anger, guilt, jealousy and other emotional responses.
Poor self image can develop at a very early age. For example, a baby can hear the angry loud voices of parent's quarrelling and sense the vibrations of their emotions. Anger associated with loud sound is indelibly written on the child's mind and becomes a filter through which all his future decisions may be sieved. Our progress can be sabotaged with all of the negative emotions that we carry around inside.
As the child grows his interaction with other children, their attitudes and behaviour may strengthen his earlier filters or may create even more filters in his mind which can lead to a poor self image. School life and later in the workforce many more such filters may be created which will reflect in his attitude with regard to studies or life in general. His studies may suffer or he may not be as effective in his work. A negative attitude may even affect his health.
When our self image is low we tend to stay stuck in one place. We don't venture into that new business or get out of that abusive relationship or try something new. Some parts of our lives can be very dull and depressing. In short, our self image is the centrepiece of our emotional strength. The quality of our lives often depends on it.
Go to the self help section of any major bookstore and there you will find countless books with solutions to the self image problem. In general, they emphasize positive attitudes and give exercises for looking at the brighter side of life. They encourage focusing on your strengths rather than your weaknesses and some emphasize visualization and affirmations to help you achieve these things.
Many of these approaches do help people improve their self images and they should all be applauded. The results are a bit spotty, however. An improvement here. A new attitude there. Rarely does anyone achieve an across the board, dramatically improved self image with these tools. These approaches, however, only try to overwhelm people with mega doses of positivism.
This is a laudable effort, of course, but one's established self doubts and negative feelings can be rather stubborn. If your journey through life is like a bus ride, then these self doubts and negative feelings are passengers on your bus. You are at the wheel and they are your "back seat drivers" who think they own the front seats. Conventional methods won't move them much.
The reason so many of these techniques fall short is that they do very little to neutralize all the self doubt and negative feelings that make up the poor self image. Imagine a bowl of milk and a bowl of poison. If you take a drop of poison and mix it in the bowl of milk, the whole bowl of milk will become poisonous. But if you take a drop of milk and add it to the bowl of poison it will not change a thing. No matter how much milk you pour into the bowl of poison. The inherent nature of the poison will corrupt the purity of any and all positive feedback we give ourselves in any form.
This is exactly what happens when little is done to neutralize the poison of self doubt and negative feelings within. Hence it is very important to understand and neutralize negative emotions before implanting any positive ones. EFT can help you achieve this.
EFT offers a refreshing new approach to this problem where dramatic, across the board changes do occur. People have been totally transformed by these techniques. Their mannerisms, posture, words and gestures all change to reflect a more positive, self assured person. Their friends and co-workers comment on the "new" person that has evolved before their eyes.
Rather than try to install new attitudes and perspectives, as conventional methods tend to do, EFT effectively liberates one from their self doubts and negative feelings. They loosen those unwanted passengers from their front seat positions and kick them off the bus. Once off the bus, they no longer contribute to a poor self image.
The self doubts and negative feelings that make up a poor self image are forms of "negative emotions" which, of course, are what EFT was designed to handle.
EFT was developed on a discovery statement which states: "The cause of all negative emotions is a disruption in the body's energy system."
With this in mind the process to improve your self image is simple. Just apply the technique on every negative emotion you have. One by one they leave and, as they do, the balance between your positive and negative emotions shifts inevitably toward the positive. A refreshing and confident new self image bubbles up to the surface. The baggage has been thrown off your bus.
Here's a metaphor that will further help your understanding of this concept. Consider each of your negative emotions or specific events as a tree in a negative self image forest. They might be reflective of things from your past like rejections, abuse, failures, fears, guilt, etc. There may be hundreds of them and they may be so thick as to resemble a jungle.
Let's assume, though, that there are 100 diseased trees in your self image forest. If you cut one of them down (by neutralizing it with EFT) you still have 99 left. While you will get some noticeable, and much appreciated, emotional relief from removing that one tree, you still haven't made much of a dent in the self image forest.
But what would happen if you methodically cut down one tree per day? Gradually, the forest would thin out. You would have more room to move within it and it would be a freer place in which to reside. Eventually...with persistent use of EFTall the trees disappear and in their place is a much more emotionally free you. The world looks different when the forest (or jungle) is gone and a new self image emerges.
Fortunately, you will not have to cut down all 100 trees to get your result. That's because using EFT to neutralize a few negative emotions of a given type will tend to generalize over the remaining negative emotions of that same type.
For example, assume that in your forest you have a clump of 10 trees known as "abusive experiences." Take the biggest (most intense) trees in that clump first and cut them down with EFT. Once you have done 3 or 4 of them, you will usually find that the remaining of 6 or 7 fall on their own. Balancing the energy system for some trees then spreads to other trees of the same type.
You can then repeat this generalization concept with other clumps that might be called "failures" or "rejections." In this way, a 100 tree forest might be cleared by cutting down approximately 30 trees.
With EFT, shifts in self image come much faster and much more powerfully than with conventional methods.
But the shifts don't happen as rapidly as with phobias and distressing memories. EFT frequently handles those in moments whereas complete self image changes often take weeks. This is because the shifts in self image are the result of the time consuming elimination of numerous negative emotions (trees)one at a time.
As mentioned above that complete self image changes take weeks that does not mean nothing is happening in the meantime. On the contrary, with each tree that is removed from the forest a shift in one's self image takes place. However, the immediate emotional freedom that comes from removal of that one tree does not usually make a noticeable change in the much larger self image problem. But the cumulative change that comes from removing several trees is noticeable if you become an "observer" of what is happening.
The changes that happen within you are gradual, subtle and powerful. They feel so natural that you don't even realize that the shift is taking place. Eventually, your friends will comment on your changes and then you will have incontrovertible proof. But, until then, you need to be an "observer" and tune yourself into what is going on.
Notice for example, how you handled a recent rejection more matter-of-factly than before. Observe how you speak up more often and how you are taking better care of yourself. Listen to how the tones of your own conversations are shifting toward the positive.
Watch the reaction of others toward you as you radiate a more assured self image. Being an "observer" is important because, without it, you might conclude that nothing is happening and give up on the process.
After a few days into the process of applying the techniques you will notice that the "big trees" you started with don't seem to show up in your life any more. That is typical and there is a lot of freedom in that. Try this new discovery which often works when nothing will. You have nothing to lose - except your emotional forest, and everything to gain - your self worth, your self image.
Enjoy.
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