"Hi! My Name is (insert name here) and I am desperate for your business!"

"Hi! My Name is (insert name here) and I am desperate for your business!"

Every month the same hand written note arrives in the mail- "Here is a little useful information" (the useful information changes from month to month). "Oh, by the way, if you know of someone that could use my services, can you let me know? I am NEVER too busy for one of your referrals!"

Mind you, I really enjoy getting hand written notes in the mail, and this article is not a rant against someone taking the time to write me. But this scheduled note, which says the same thing every month, lacks sincerity! It's like someone went to an inspiring seminar held at a hotel on how to get referrals the "easy way". To me it's desperate. Doesn't everyone know that desperation isn't an attractive trait on anyone?

Businesses can't afford not to be actively engaged with potential clients. Applications such as Twitter, Facebook, Foursquare and LinkedIn have taken engagement to the next level. No longer is it about a unilateral conversation- like in the example above. Businesses have incredible opportunity to interact and educate.

Social media engagement can reach far beyond scheduled hand written notes, and can contact those who are actually interested in your services. Because people want results and information, they are searching. All we have to do as business owners is demonstrate that we have something of value. We need to engage in a way that says we hear what you are looking for, and understand the challenges you are facing. We need to earn respect.

So how is respect earned? Here is a small list of how to be cool and collected while engaging in social media.

#1 Be cool and real. We all want to date the hot guy/girl in the bar. Be that hot. Have real conversations with people that show your personality. No one wants to interact with someone who is sending out scheduled tweets without some kind of engagement.

#2 Write your own content. I think it is great to send out other people's wisdom, and to re-tweet. I do it all the time. However in the mix, make sure you include some of your own blog articles. After all, you want to be known as an expert.

#3 Don't follow everyone. Be strategic on who you would like to follow and follow you. We've all seen the people that have sent out 2 tweets and are following 1,200 people. Where they have a couple of hundred followers themselves. I never follow these people. Make sure that your ratios are in balance. I personally feel it is important to have more people following you than the number of people you are following. Remember you want to be the hot chick.

Don't become the Arsenio Hall, The Carrot Tops, or the Vanilla Ices of social media. Their cool was short lived. Become the Sean Connery or Denzel Washington's of social media- where they are known for just being cool. Just look at Chris Brogan- now that's cool.

I don't know about you, but I like to be on the winning team and am attracted to people that are successful, (or faking that they are successful). Don't act desperate. Desperate ill-fated attempts always fail. Plus, it's just lame!

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