"Humiliation" – Loss of self-respect
Humans are considered to be the highest living beings on the planet with the several habits they bear, of which, one of them is "to humiliate"
. Humiliation is a painful experience and is often memorized for a long time. Some humiliate directly, some indirectly. Some humiliate purposely, some with specific reasons. "He himself gets humiliated, who humiliates others intentionally". It comes into being when you try to do things that are bizarre; it comes up when you try to act superior; it happens
"Sometime we ourselves become the victim of humiliation due to our own stupid acts". It is very important to know who likes what. It is very important to know, what you should talk, when, where and with whom you should talk. Haven't you noticed that sometimes we take jokes seriously which results into fights and then later into humiliation? Some people keep quiet when they are humiliated and some overreact; what does that mean? It means that some of them accept their mistakes, some don't. "The silence is nothing but the shame that is born out of insult" and "the sound is nothing but the act of hiding your own ass because of the fear of being humiliated". (Sometimes you may be silence to avoid hurting the people you respect). I am relating silence and sound together to explain about two types of people; one who keep silent after getting humiliated and the other who bellow.
First, scrutinize the person to whom you are interacting with, like who is stern & who is not, who according to you can endure, and who cannot? It is very easy to do so, provided, you know how to do it. If you can interpret such things in advance, then, you can avoid lots of things that lead to humiliation. The things which I like, is not necessarily liked by others, e.g. if I like to gag, it is not necessary that others may like it. I guess it all depends on how well you know the opposite person and how he/she will cope up. "For me studying human being is more important than any other studies in the world".
Most of time the people who humiliates others are the egoistic ones. The one who think he is the only master and no one else. "I love accepting things which are wrong when I know that the person I am talking to is self-centered, and is not going to agree by any means. His ego will never allow him to loose and my patience will never say NO to anything that comes from such people. So, for me it doesn't make any sense in arguing or quarrelling with such individuals. I don't like wasting my precious time in arguing with others. However, I keep my bucket full of idiotic thoughts given by such people, and I use it as funny stories to entertain others and myself. I can make people laugh by using remarks made by such people. Generally what I am doing is wrong, but according to me egoistic people can be dealt in this way only and, believe me my formula works, provided you keep your ego at a lower level. When a person thinks that he/she is the only one who is right, then, accept their wrong as right and move ahead. Infact if you go on agreeing with the things he/she says and simultaneously try to improve them with your non-egoistic qualities, then you can easily change the opposite person. If I like his wrongs and accept him, he is going to accept me too, and when he starts coming closer to you, you start the cleansing process.
How I felt humiliated (My Experience):
It was an incident that happened with me when I was in school. I still remember that day when my English teacher Mr. Ganpati thrashed me in front of 82 students. He was a well built, tall guy with a strong threaded moustache displaying anger on his face always. He used to dress with simplicity, and his trademark was the Kada (a thick bronze bangle with Om written on it everywhere) that he used to wear in his right hand. His looks were just enough to beat the seeds out of grain. Whenever he used to stand in front of me, I looked like an ant in front of an elephant (As I was like a 30 cm scale in front of him). I always used to sit on the first row, first bench, showing a kind of intelligence that I never had.
The scene started in this way. It was 09.30 in the morning, and we were all expecting our English teacher Mr. Ganpati. As soon as he entered the room, his head turned towards the door looking at me, I stood up and immediately closed the doors (which was his daily routine and my daily job in his class). He used to give me works and I used to do it happily with an impression in mind that he loves me a lot and he will never beat me, but I was wrong. He took 10 complete minutes of relaxation (as he always used to do) and then all of a sudden he stood up like a Tiger coming out for hunt. (It was his habit to ogle all the dirty boys and beautiful girls in the class) I don't know yet why he used to do that, but the terror in his eyes was enough to make us piss. The day was for "book correction". As a smart boy, I had completed all my homework and was ready for my book correction. But, I didn't know that the day was written for me. Unfortunately, it was the bad as well as good day of my life. He came to my table with his pen and simultaneously started asking questions to my colleagues for the chapter that he taught last time. He started correcting my book, by marking a big RIGHT mark on my beautiful handwritings.
The real scene started here; when he started turning the book pages, pages came out one by one flying like feathers. He stared at me with terror in his eyes. The pages started plucking out as he was plucking flowers from tree, and this made the tiger angry, and additionally the boy who was answering his question was answering nonsense, (It means even his beating was written for me.) and it happened, I don't know what suddenly happened to him, he just started slapping me on both my baby faces as if he was my father. I was expecting him to stop after two or three, but he didn't. He was like a Non-Stop tape recorder, in front of all my 82 intelligent friends, who were watching that humiliating scene of the day joyously. For them it was a live movie.
Then he stopped for a moment and I thought that it's over, but I was wrong. He pulled me out of my table using my tie as a rope and started slapping me again. Now, here comes the worst part, he tore all the pages of my book into small tiny pieces (it seems he was expert in it,) and filled it inside my collar. My face turned red with his slaps, infact I went blank with the continuous force of slaps and he left me so embarrassed that I was no more in a situation to face my friends. I felt so humiliated, I felt like I should hide myself from the world. For a moment, I thought what the hell was happening. I felt I was getting humiliated in front of my friends; the consciousness of my own identity disturbed, I felt as if I was treated like dirt, my dignity attacked. Nevertheless, the fact is, I made mistakes. When I think about the whole episode again, I realize that, I accept that it was completely my fault. Yes, I felt bad. What happened with me at that age was definitely a humiliation but, also learning. The respect towards my teachers doubled after this incident. I started taking care of my books properly. I started reading, writing, I improved myself. Humiliation also allows you to improve yourself and avoid making mistakes. If you don't learn from your mistakes, then even your shadow will not speak to you, will not follow you and will force you to do the same things again and again. Today I am writing this topic and my experience has helped me share my story with my friends and family members. Today I am able to write (not good enough) on this subject.
Where you can see humiliating scenes?
Humiliation is surely a common scene in the classrooms. Teachers like to humiliate students. They do not tend to humiliate students, but their anger results into scenes that most students know is humiliation. You may have got humiliated atleast once in your school days in front of all (specially girls; vice versa) for not completing your homework, for not able to answer the questions put by your teacher, for not attending the classes at time or for chit chatting in the middle of the lessons. And the punishment comes in the form of humiliation, like "standing on the bench with hands up", "standing outside the classroom"," bending down on genuflect", "writing one full chapter as punishment" etc.
Humiliation is also commonly seen in work place, where your boss might have humiliated you in front of your colleagues. Here the humiliation might happen due to the mistakes done by you like, "not completing the assignments given to you, "making mistakes in booking boss emergency tickets", "messing up his balance sheets", "trying to interfere in boss's personal life", "making wrong decisions on his behalf", "dealing with clients without his permission" etc. It may also that your boss humiliates you to bring out his anger, irritation that he carried from his house.
Seniors create nuisance for juniors in the hostels, which we call it "ragging". I don't know what exactly seniors try to prove here, as it doesn't look sensible to me to make fun of the juniors. The scenes are common when during hostel opening days. I can mention one good example given by my friend when he was studying in a Hotel Management College. His seniors treated him very badly. He was ordered to get naked in front of a group. Then they brought an egg, kept it on the chair, and asked him to sit on the egg with his ass covering the egg. Then he will not go home until his ass breaks the egg. Imagine how humiliating it might have been for him doing that act in front of so many students.
Now, this one comes from my best friend Tony (
http://iltaz-alam.blogspot.com/)
One of my friends said to me about the positive side of humiliation, and I do agree with him for the same. Here it goes; your seniors forced you to propose a girl in the college during ragging; you do not know anything about the girl. You went ahead as you have to listen to the seniors. You approached her, and also proposed. The result, she served a tight slap and you felt humiliated in front of your college. She was not aware about ragging. But later on when she came to know about the whole episode, she apologized for the same to you and obvious interaction started.
Here you felt humiliated because of your seniors (your thinking) but when you see the positive side of this humiliation; you realize the motive of your ragging. Such type of humiliation was to let you become frank and bold and in one line to let your personality groomed'.
As per this example, if you do not see the positive side, you may develop so many negative things about your seniors and you may start hating them rather than thanking them for what they did.
It shows that if you do not know the intentions (which you can only tell aftermath) do not make up your mind only for negative aspects!
"Humiliation might destroy you OR it might change your life style as a whole; depends how you take it "- Tony
"Keeping quite while being humiliated does not only says that you are wrong, it is also possible that you know the truth or your side perfectly and you are keeping quiet, because you know when a person can humiliate you only because he is superior or powerful than you, he will never listen to your argument, so better keep quite". There is a sloke' in Sanskrit; "Vidya dadati vinayam" Education and knowledge gives you calmness and understanding". - Tony
Humiliating Scenarios with dialogues - (Direct and Indirect humiliation)
SCHOOL / COLLEGE:
You reached the school late and your teacher welcomed you in a humiliating way by saying the following, "Oh, here comes the important man, come in Mr XYZ, all of them please stand up and welcome the son of Prime Minister".
(Such incidents might have happened in our life. Here the teacher got chance to humiliate you because it is purely your mistake. It is a direct humiliation.)
However, nowadays, it's fun listening to all such things. Guys come late to listen to all such things and make fun of teachers
FRIENDS:
You purchased a new shirt and you friend commented on it saying, "Hey, where did you buy this dirty shirt, have you stolen it from somewhere".
(Here in the scene your friend is 100% jealous of you, he could not digest your looks, so he thought of humiliating you in front of other friends insulting you. It is called a direct humiliation).
FAMILY:
Your neighbor is distributing sweets as his son got first class in examination, and on this your mother commented on you saying, "Look at him you Idiot, how he got first class and you are such a stupid, always eating and doing nothing else"
(Here one thing that the parents should notice is that not everyone is born a genius, if the neighbor's son is doing good in studies, then, that doesn't mean that your son will also be the same. He may not be good in studies, but he may be good in something else. So don't compare, and humiliate him for no reasons at all. You should never humiliate your children in front of the neighbor's or in a public place.)
You are married to a woman who is not good looking and is cognizant about her appearance. The scene goes in this way. You and your family members are on the table and about to start the lunch. Your mother calls your wife to join, but your dad poke saying, "If she doesn't eat one time nothing will happen"; now this is called indirect humiliation. Moreover, you are in a situation where you feel bad for your wife, but on the other hand, you cannot say anything to your dad. Here not only your wife but you also feel her humiliation.
(You should not make fun on someone's physical appearance and gestures; rather you should make them understand what they need to change in themselves to avoid public humiliation. You can never stop anyone commenting, people do it, and it is born out from the society itself.)
OFFICE:
A boss asks his peon to take a Xerox copy of an important paper, give the Xerox to Mr X and bring back the original. But, you did exactly the opposite, and your boss started yelling at you, saying "I knew from day one that you are going to mess up everything, I shouldn't have hired you at all, are you gone nuts you dumb, cannot understand anything"
(The scene is between an illiterate peon and his boss. What went wrong here is that, the peon didn't understand the difference between Original & Xerox, so, it is not at all his fault, that he gave the Original to Mr X. The boss should have made some mark n the paper identifying it as Original, so that the peon should have understood the difference (The above example is taken from the speech given by Mr Santosh Nair.)
"Humiliation" Loss of self-respect
By: Raj
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