A Guide To The Perfect Summer Guest by:Roz Usheroff
Okay, summer's here, and you've received a weekend invitation to a friend's cottage
. While you're looking forward to relaxing in a hammock with a good book as the loons sing their doleful tune, remember that there is an art to being a good summer guest, that is to say, the one who gets invited back year after year.
So, before you head out for your season in the sun, you might want to consider a few of my do's and don'ts for summer guests, compiled from a lifetime of observation, conversation and sheer trial and error.
The Do's
Be on time.
Cardinal rule #1. If you say you will meet them at the marina at 7 p.m., make sure you are there by 6:45 p.m. Cottagers have their own schedules, dictated by weather and darkness. Start off on the right foot by respecting theirs.
Bring Gifts.
A no-brainer. They don't have to be elaborate gifts, just thoughtful. New magazines, music, a tankful of gas for the boat, anything that will make your hosts happy to have you. One of the most appreciated gifts is a selection of good wines, some for consumption on the weekend and some to stock your host's bar. When they open your wines later in the summer, they will remember your thoughtfulness.
Bring A Meal and Cook it
The gesture alone is priceless. Give your hosts a break by planning, cooking and serving an entire meal for them, complete with wines. It doesn't have to break the bank, although no one ever complains about beef tenderloins on the grill. It can be as simple as pre-cooking and bringing a lasagna, complete with garlic bread, salad and wine. This is especially appreciated on Friday nights, when, after the drudge of a long week at work and stop-and-go traffic en route to paradise, the last thing your hosts want to do is feed the masses. Do it for them. And don't forget to do the dishes. Always.
Pitch In
Whether you call it a cottage, a cabin or a camp, there is always something that needs to be done at a vacation property. So help clean up, sweep the paths, sharpen the kitchen knives, scrub the algae off the hull of the boats, nail down loose boards on the dock, etc. And don't forget to hang up your own towels and bathing suit, and to collect others after they dry.
Sleep on Their Schedule
Out of the city, even creatures of habit can revert to their natural wild state. Late risers become 6 a.m. fisher folk, and night owls hit the sack by 9 p.m. Go figure. Whatever time your hosts rise, try to follow suit. If you rise before them, make the coffee and slip away with a book or go for a walk. If they are early risers, roust yourself and make a mental note to nap later.
Bring Your Own Stuff
And keep it in your room. That means batteries, cameras, books, MP3 players. The last thing your hosts need is to have to lend you towels, a bathing suit, their last eight Double-A batteries, or to have your belongings strewn all over their common living space.
Go With The Flow
You may wind up playing Scrabble, Monopoly, Trivial Pursuit on a rainy afternoon. You hate games. Today, you love them.
Clean Your Room
Make your bed, hang up or fold your clothes and towels very day, and treat your room as if you live in it. You do, by the way. After your stay is complete, strip the beds, offer to do the laundry, and leave your room cleaner than when you arrived.
Sign the guest book
Many cottagers of long standing maintain a guest log, which in itself makes for a fun read about times past. Use the opportunity to write something witty and gracious that will make your hosts remember you fondly.
Send a handwritten thank-you note
In our hyper cyberworld, the handwritten thank-you note is a lost art. But one that will put you in good standing among the guests your hosts entertain this summer. Use fine paper and a fountain or calligraphy pen. You may also send your hosts a gift, as long as it is useful and not ostentatious. A new fishing net, for example, or a set of gardening tools for the cottage horticulturalist.
The Don'ts
Don't Bring a Furry Animal Unannounced
Especially not that cute 150-pound Saint Bernard puppy that slobbers on everyone at the dinner table. Check with your hosts first to see if they have dogs or cats and wouldn't mind four more legs.
Don't Hog the Shower
Most cottages have a limited capacity septic system for grey water such as showers, dishwater. etc. Be considerate by not showering everyday, and by taking a short shower, or skipping it entirely by taking dips in the lake. Your hosts, who probably have septic system management down to a science, will appreciate your consideration if you ask them about using water at the cottage.
Don't Skinny Dip
Fooled you, ha ha! Of course you will be skinny-dipping, unless you are in plain view of the neighbours. Check with your hosts to find out the piscine protocols in their neck of the woods, whether it's best late at night, or if you can sneak in a discreet swim
before anyone else is up.
Don't Expect To Be Entertained
It's not your hosts' job to make sure you are having fun. Arrive with plenty of ways to entertain yourself, whether it's a good book, your personal music system, a birders' guide and binoculars, or a walk in the woods.
Don't Leave Things Behind
Some people chronically forget things. Don't leave your jackets, raingear, sweaters, fishing tackle, etc., behind. Space is limited at most summer vacation properties, and you don't want your hosts to think that you are that thoughtless person who leaves things for others to look at all summer. Or worse still, that they think you might have conveniently forgotten something to cadge a return invitation. Take inventory when you arrive, and check things off as you leave.
Don't Bring Your Office Appliances
Leave the laptop, cellphone or Blackberry at home. Some hosts are strict about drawing the line between weekends and work. If you have to bring your office toys with you for whatever reason, keep them out sight and in your room. Under no circumstances should these devices be used in the company of others, unless your hosts ask if they can use them. It's just plain rude to bring your office into someone's vacation spot.
Don't Overstay Your Welcome
Sometimes, warmed by wine and collegial conversation, your hosts may be having so much fun that they ask you to stay on for a day or two. This sounds great, except that by the morning, they may be looking for some peace and quiet, and wished they had exercised less vino and more veritas before making the offer. Your response? Express gratitude, but beg off graciously on account of pressing work back in the city. Reiterate what a relaxing time you've had and how much you enjoyed your hosts' company. My rule of thumb on this statute of limitations is the same as Ben Franklin's: After three days, both fish and guests begin to smell.
Enjoy your summer!
About the author
Roz Usheroff is one of the most sought-after executive trainers in North America. Author of "Customize Your Career," West Palm Beach-based Roz has conducted business coaching seminars and workshops for men and women executives at a number of Fortune 500 companies. For further information see
http://www.usheroff.com or call 561-289-5441.
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