Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man: 4 Great Tips from Steve Harvey's Book

After receiving a FLOOD of emails from past graduates last year about comedian and

national radio host Steve Harvey appearing on Oprah to talk about his book "Act Like

a Lady, Think Like a Man" I wanted to share my take on all the great advice he had.

So many graduates wrote to tell me how his book really enhanced what I had taught

them about men in my workshop. I realize how affirming it is for women to hear about

men from a man! Whenever I used to put on co-ed workshops, it was fun to oberserve

all the women turn to the guys to see if what I'm saying is for real!

You would have laughed if you saw me watching the show as I belted out many "Woo

Hoo's!" every time he answered questions from an audience of 300 women. Nothing

makes me happier when I get to see a man on a major show like Oprah supporting the

very same points of view I'm teaching to all my participants!

Below, I'm going to partner with Harvey a little bit here and list off 4 points he

made on the show that are invaluable tips every woman needs to know.

1) "Chivalry is not dead, it's just not REQUIRED anymore"

This was the first "Woo Hoo!" I had when he said that. Women are making their own money, buying their own houses AND opening their OWN doors, pulling out their OWN chairs, picking up their OWN tab on dates. As women continue to do this, it trains men to stop practicing their chivalry and is also sending a subtle message to men that you don't need them. If you want a man to romance you, then you have to have standards and behaviours that make chivalry come your way.

2) "Are YOU willing to be all that you want in a man?"

One of the female audience members showed a list to Harvey with over 43 requirements

she needed to have in a man. Everything from "genuine and caring" to "cook's dinner"

to "determined to make our love and romance last". I'm in total agreement about having a list of what you want in a man so that you can hold that vision and attract him towards you. What Harvey pointed out and what I also have observed is that very few women are willing to give back to a man in equal proportion what they expect from him.

3) "Only YOU can determine your value"

A woman in her 50's asked Harvey "How do you not feel obligated to have sex when a man pays for dinner?" For those of you who read my article earlier this month on "Men, Women & Money" I answered this question in depth. Harvey's response: "Romance is ignited within a woman from how a man makes you FEEL, not for what he BUYS you." In other words, a woman is not required to have sex with a man just because he buys you dinner. He also mentioned how important it is for women to stop LOWERING the bar on themselves especially older women who think that they should lower their standards just because of their age. This is a big mistake that I see many women make over and over. Believe me, the women (at any age) who are getting the good men are all women who clearly laid out how they wanted to be treated right from the get go and never compromised on that.

4) "God would not create your soul mate and not allow you to meet him"

Oh, so true! Single people could certainly use a lesson in patience with the timing on meeting their perfect mate. I've always said there is a Divine Timing to everything and that includes when you meet the person you're going to spend the rest of your life with. If you look back at every life altering encounter, job or person you met over the span of your lifetime, you would see there was a perfect order with how and when it happened. For the women reading this, I encourage you to take these points to heart and remember them when you're relating with the men in your life.

Ultimately what Harvey (and me!) are trying to get across to women is that men will treat you according to the standards you set for YOURSELF. A man will always match his behaviour and actions wherever you have set the bar so are you setting it high or low?. If a man is unwilling to treat you the way you want to be treated, then it's time to move on and find someone who will. It's not the time to lower the bar!

By demanding as much of yourself as you would in a man, knowing your standards and never settling for less than what you want is not only a guarantee of you becoming a better woman, you just might find your ideal mate showing up on your doorstep.

Be sure to go to my website and check out the "Feminine Power" workshop I'm putting on October 16, 2010 where I'll walk you through my simple 7 step method to help you rule YOUR romantic universe.

Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man: 4 Great Tips from Steve Harvey's Book

By: Kim Sarrasin

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