Are We Addicted To Guru's?
A BRIEF OVERVIEW OF THE JAMES RAY SPIRITUAL WARRIOR RETREAT
October 2009, three lives were lost due to organ failure and at least nineteen people were injured while participating in a sweat lodge ceremony during the James Ray Spiritual Warrior retreat. According to The Huffington Post, Ray addressed the public's concern at a seminar he held near Los Angeles: "This is the most difficult time I've ever faced." Ray said. "I don't know how to deal with it really." He continued by saying that he looked at the incident as a test for himself.
WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO HELP OTHERS REACH THEIR POTENTIALS?
I don't know James Ray personally, but I'm sure this has been a difficult time for him. There have many many people who have gone on Ray's retreats before and have had nothing but good things to say. They speak about how because of Ray they have been able to get more out of their lives. This is what the personal development leader wants to accomplish. Yet, what does it really mean to help others reach their potentials?
LEADERS IN THE PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT
This reminds me of something that I said years ago on a television talk show, in which I was a guest therapist. It is so very important that we as leaders do not forget that we should also be continuing to look at ourselves and our human journey, both personally and professionally. We also must hold ourselves accountable for giving and teaching from authenticity, integrity and humility. This means not falling prey to our own unhealed wounded egos that can be seduced to believe the projections of the students' or feel pressure to teach what the consumer "wants." Our job, instead, is to teach the subjects that we are deeply trained and seated in, as well as what is most healing for all in the long run.
FULFILLING OUR HUMAN NEEDS
As a culture, many of us appear to be focused on pushing ourselves to be part of something bigger while wanting more, and then more, which can have an addictive quality. Funny enough, this behavior tends to push us further from our true selves, keeping us from embracing life as it is in the moment. It's important to see that this inner longing drives our wounded ego toward the outer authority in order for us to be a part of something bigger than just ourselves. What is important to understand is that we can fulfill this human need and, at the same time, keep our own sense of boundaries without hurting ourselves.
THE STUDENT
Looking at this from the student's point of view, it is important to explore the issue of dependency. It seems that they are not looking for guides or teachers that point to what might need to be looked at, but to have the answers handed to them. This would come from a place inside that is younger. This place wants so badly to end the struggle and be saved or fixed, but looks for the easy answer from someone else. This doesn't help the student learn from their own inner knowing.
WHY DO WE SEEK EXTREME, HASTY SOLUTIONS TO OUR PAIN?
True and lasting change often happens bit by bit, so we need to ask, why do we feel the need to seek extreme, hasty solutions to our pain? The attendees of workshops/retreats/seminars that ask them to leave their own sense of self at the door will not be left with empowerment nor are they treating themselves with kindness. We become truly empowered by building consciousness, taking action and knowing ourselves. Conversely, our cultural guru addiction causes us to believe that they know better, are better and, in turn, have more, and we want it, too!
UNFINISHED PERSONAL WORK
We all, including great teachers, have unfinished personal work left to do because this deep work is never complete. To be deeply integrated and to live a humble, authentic life is the job of all of us, if we choose to see what is there to be processed for one more round. In other words, it is important to keep challenging our own human wounded egos. This is not my opinion on James Ray, however, there are many narcissistic leaders who lead from disillusion. I don't know how much deep work Ray has done with his ego, but certain traits lead me to believe he has further to go, as we all do.
WE ARE ALL WOUNDED HUMANS ON THE SAME JOURNEY
I am pleased when I hear that people want to grow and better themselves and I think it's wonderful when there are others whose life purpose is to help these people on that journey. Yet, we must remember that, whether we are teachers or students, we are all wounded human beings on the same journey. This is why, as leaders, it is important to continue to look at ourselves to understand why we are searching for outward glorification and acknowledgement. A trap we can all fall into from time to time. If we are unaware from where inside of us we are doing this, we will attract a certain kind of student, one who so desperately wants to look up to just about anybody. This is most likely because their particular childhood wounding either by their parents or society.
SUPER HUMAN LEADERS
In some circles, it seems difficult to see the leaders and teachers own their human-ness since they lack humility. Often, this is because the consumer wants super humans. These consumers want to buy a fantasy and the leader either easily falls into this trap or slowly gets sucked in, creating the illusion of what people want to buy. For the human being attempting to become a super human, regretfully, this sometimes ends in the loss of a life.
Consider this: often true greatness is not splashy, but kind and humane.
Copyright (c) 2009 Jennifer Howard PhD
by: Jennifer Howard PhD
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