Back-to-School Money Pit

School is back in session! Is there a sweeter sentence in the whole English language

? How I've longed for this day as the hot summer weeks have slowly run their course.

The house no longer rings with the endless chant of, "I don't have anything to do" and "he's calling me names" or "she won't stay out of my room". While the never non-stop flow of plates and glasses, that represent the infinite state of my children's appetites, has shrunk to a mere trickle.

Yet, I will be honest enough to admit, that August isn't all about getting the kids out of the house and back into the learning environment where they belong. There's a negative side as well. I call it "The Back to School Money Pit", and any parent of school age children knows exactly what I'm talking about.

First there are clothes, lots and lots of clothes. The underwear and socks that worked perfectly well three month's earlier are no longer sufficient for the needs of a new school year. And speaking of underwear, I was school shopping with my daughter last week and she desperately wanted a package of Hannah Montana briefs. Now I can understand SpongeBob or Little Mermaid underwear. Those are cartoon characters. But how can Miss Miley Cirus sleep at night knowing that her face is sprawled across hundreds of little rears throughout the country?

Once everyone is outfitted with brand new clothes and sneakers that will be worn out and need to be replaced before Halloween, a parent's next stop is school supplies. This area of the store spans about four aisles and takes as much space as the Easter and Valentine Candy displays combined. I saw six different styles of pen and pencil cases. Six! The kids just stick them in their desks and forget about them until school lets out in May. How personalized does a case need to be?

Then there is the paper, reams of it in various line sizes, colors. There are folders in the most basic colors to elaborate designs including Hannah Montana so that little girls can match their school supplies to their panties.

Then of course there are the fees; activity card fees, text book fees, parking fees, locker fees. How much can it possibly cost to maintain a locker for pete sakes?

By the time the cost of school lunches and equipment for extra curricular activities are figured in, a parent is lucky if they still have enough in the checking account to pay the mortgage.

Once they're back in the classroom, a naive parent may think they can relax. But oh no In less than a week they're lugging home the mandatory fundraiser catalog. Come on teachers? After all the money we've just had to spend getting our kids dressed and supplied to return to school, we are the ones who should be holding fund raisers!

Still, at the end of the day they're in school, and life returns to normal for another nine months. It makes me think of that clever Mastercard ad, New Jeans, $22.00, Three Ring Binder in Trojan Blue $7.98, Middle School Registration Fee $126.00. Having the house back to yourself Priceless"

Back-to-School Money Pit

By: Deanne Blackhurst

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