Believing in Yourself and Experiencing the Power of Life

Recovery from bankruptcy is not a simple thing

. I remember once hearing someone say some people take ten years to recover or they never do. I thought I would not be one of those victims. I was right about the part of never recovering, but it has taken me much longer than I ever believed it would. It has been a sobering experience.

Everything that keeps a person intact in society, everything you trusted and took for granted, everything that held your world together is gone, and is completely out of your reach. No money for food or rent, no job, no prospects, no credit card, nobody to turn to. Your dignity and your belief that your life was going somewhere are obliterated. If you were betrayed, the reality is so painful it feels almost impossible to face, and belief in yourself is shattered. Where you were sailing along in sweet oblivion "it will never happen to me" suddenly a bomb explodes in your world, your heart, your mind, your soul.

It has happened to you. You have nothing to hold onto. Youhave to scour the recesses of your shattered being to find the seed of faith in a better future, in your capacity to turn things around when every material aspect of your experience tells you it is impossible. Every waking moment you are faced with the material reality that you have nothing and worse, the reality of where you failed yourself. Can dreams come true? You doubt it. Being real, living with passion you have no idea what that means. Being important is for other people, and facing the future is the last thing you want to do.

As time goes by, you have to face the truth that you are one of those people who is still grappling with just trying to earn money to stay alive living at the edge of the zero figure abyss all the time. People around you are giving up, becoming impatient, turning away. Absolute terror sets in, and you realize your crisis is about a core, entrenched belief that you deserve to have been betrayed and abandoned.

That is a very, very painful place to land. But it leads you to see the conclusion you drew as a child: it is my fault that they do not love me. It is because I am bad. When you make that connection, you start to fight for your right to believe in yourself and to be loved and supported. Despite that your material world and societal standards tell you your belief is wrong, you face doubt down when you can.

One day you realize that you have gone from believing what other people think and say and what the material world says to believing in yourself. When you do that, you are well on the road to recovery, to making dreams come true, to finding fulfillment, to experiencing the power of life. The biggest loss has led to the biggest gain.

Believing in Yourself and Experiencing the Power of Life

By: Jennifer Stewart

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