Building Up Your Self Esteem As A Man - 3 Tips

Most of the time, when you see an article dealing with boosting one's self esteem

, it seems like they are written with women in mind. As a guy, that might make you feel even worse about feeling like you could use a little boost in self esteem, because it might make it seem like it is a woman's issue and not something that men have to deal with. Yet, it is something that guys deal with all of the time. Hey, I've known guys who have dedicated themselves to years of going to the gym because they had self esteem issues at one point and figured that if they got bigger, those issues would just go away. They don't always.

I think that illustrates the reality that guys face, though. There are issues that we have to deal with that don't always get the attention that they deserve. No matter what, having low self esteem is going to be a barrier for you. Guys with low self esteem don't usually go after that big promotion at work because they don't think that they will get it. Guys that have low self esteem don't usually go after the pretty girls that they want to date, because they assume that they will get rejected.

Here are 3 tips that will help you if you are a guy who wants to build up your self esteem:

1. Don't compare yourself to other guys.

Now, this is a tip that is pretty universal, but you usually only hear it in the context of women telling other women not to compare themselves to other women. However, we as guys do this as well. We look at the guy with the better car and think that he has something that we don't have. We look at the guy who gets the girls and wonder why we can't do that. And then we do silly things and look at the guy with all of the muscles and assume that he is more of a man. Of course, even that has changed a little bit. Now, you look at the ads and a lot of the male models are actually crazy skinny and pretty effeminate. Whatever. Don't compare yourself to other guys because it is NOT going to boost your self esteem any.

2. Little victories that happen again and again make you feel good.

It's sometimes hard to make those big changes in life, but it can be kind of easy to celebrate the little victories that you have every week. One of the ways that I like to illustrate this is when I was first learning to get better with women. I didn't wake up one day doing well with women. But, every week I got a little bit better. I went from having no opportunities (at least, it seemed that way) to having some. And that was more than enough to make me feel better. You can do the same. Whatever it is that you want to get better at, celebrate those little victories and watch to see how much better you feel. For example, if you also want to get better with women, you might celebrate every time that you approach a woman and just talk to her. That might not sound like a big deal in the grand scheme of things, but that is no reason why you can't celebrate it.

3. Let go of your past failures.

This can be a hard thing to do, especially if you have a little bit of a competitive streak in you. It can be hard to forget that time that you tried out and got cut from the football team. It can be hard to forget about that time that you went up for that promotion that you thought you totally deserved and you didn't get it, even though you tried. Still, if you want to feel good about yourself and boost your self esteem, you have to let those past failures just go. When you do, you'll feel better, kind of like you have a weight off your shoulders and kind of like you actually do feel a real boost to your self esteem just by letting go.

by: Andrew Grimsley

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