Do You Have Trouble Speaking Up for Yourself? - The Little Prince Series

Do You Have Trouble Speaking Up for Yourself? - The Little Prince Series

Daily Insight for the Spiritual Journey from the Story ofThe Little Prince

Do you sometimes find it difficult to speak up for yourself?

How many times in life do we know we need to say or do something, yet we allow ourselves to be derailed by our inability to speak up for ourselves.

I used to have difficulty with this in my own life. If I did speak up, it was often because I had reached the point of being angry about a situationmuch later than I should have spoken up calmly.

Today I frequently receive emails from people who face this issue in their relationships especially, but also in their work.Women in particular confide that they are so conditioned to please their husband or boyfriend, they end up walking on eggshells and thereby fail to be true to themselves.

Yesterday we saw that the Little Prince asked the pilot, who had become his friend out in the desolation of the Sahara Desert, why some flowers have thorns. So, why do these flowers have thorns?

Pretty much my favorite all-time television series is the BBC production of the books by the veterinary surgeon James Herriot, All Creatures Great and Small. Watching the series again on Netflix right now, I'm struck by how often Jameswho I met in real life before he died, having grown up close to where he practiced in the Yorkshire countrysidegets himself into difficulties because he frequently has a hard time speaking up for himself.

In the episode last night, it was a Sunday morning and all was quiet in the home in which the three vets, plus James' wife Helen, lived together. That afternoon James and Helen were slated to go to the local church to hear a performance of Handel's Messiah. Before they were to leave for the oratorio, the plan was to eat a traditional Sunday lunch with roast beef and Yorkshire puddings. Mrs Hall, the housekeeper, was a superb cook and was particularly proud of her Sunday roast dinners.

Needless to say James got called out to deal with an animal in distress on one of the farms in the Yorkshire Dales. The farm family planned on going to hear the Messiah and asked James for a lift in his car. Except that they too had a Sunday lunch ready, which of course they had to eat before the could leave, which had to be followed by second helpings and topped off with apple pie.

As James sat there waiting, all the while knowing Mrs Hall's lunch was ready, for which he was now extremely late, he failed each time in his attempts to speak up and get his point across.

It's why he failed that interests me. His tone was one of frustration, even exasperation eventually, as he tried to draw their attention to the fact he needed to be home in time for his own lunch. There was never any calm, clear statement of what he required, only words spoken with mounting anxiety.

What James lacked at such moments was the power ofpresence.

In his veterinary practice he didn't lack presence. Because he was solid in his insight, he moved forward confidently with no hesitation when it came to the need to take charge, even when a farmer gave him a hard time. It was in dealing with people in ordinary life that he manifested a lack of presence.

Presence exudes a quiet, peaceful power all its own, as it werecommanding attention.

Presence flows from being grounded in our solid self. Not our egoic self, the person we imagine ourselves to be in our thoughts, but our true being which is an expression of divine Presence.

Thorns on flowers allow the flower to get someone's attention when they cross a boundary.

Notice, the thorns don't attack. They don't build up resentment then unleash their hostility on the unsuspecting individual. They are simplypresent, in their power to catch our attention when necessary.

James needed to speak up calmly, definitively. And if no one listened, to firmly but kindly ask for their attention. He could then spell out what he required.

If he was ignored, when the time arrived he would simply get up and, entirely non-reactively, giving them a last opportunity to join him in his car, say a friendly goodbye and drive off.

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