Get Him Back - Ending the Torture of Your Breakup
Get Him Back - Ending the Torture of Your Breakup
Your boyfriend has just dropped the bomb and broken up with you and you would do just about anything to get him back. Seemingly out of nowhere, he announces to you that he is done and your relationship is over. You sit in disbelief wondering how things got this bad and if you have a chance to get him back. Your day are like torture and your nights are sleepless as you search for a solution to your problem of how to win him back. You awake every morning hoping and praying that all of this was just a bad dream but as your head clears you realize that this is the reality. He really has broken up with you and now it seems like it's your job to figure out what went wrong and try to fix it.
The problem is that no matter what you try to do or say your ex boyfriend isn't having it. Anything you say or do gets turned around and you just wind up having to explain yourself and things only seem to be getting worse and worse. You tell him that you love him and he tells you that you don't. You beg him for another chance and he sees no reason why and stands on his decision to end the relationship. It's as if you're dealing with a completely different person than the one you fell in love with. It is as if his heart has turned to stone.
As painful as your breakup is I encourage you to do your best to rebuild your relationship and work towards your goal of getting him back. If you tire of the constant roller coaster ride that you are bound to be on, dig deep and find a little more strength to go on when times get tough and you feel like quitting. If another woman arrives on the scene, do your best to resist the urge to lash out and confront her or both of them. Swallow the pain and live in the knowledge that with a little understanding and some persistence you really can get your ex boyfriend back if you understand what it takes to make him fall in love with you again.
Live in the confidence that your boyfriend really does love you. He fell in love with you and it is my firm belief that he does still have love for you buried deep down within himself but it is your job to unearth that love. And what is going to unearth that love? Well, chances are what you've been doing lately, if you are typical, isn't going to be winning you any points when it comes to getting him back, first of all. If you have been spending a lot of time trying to convince him to come back to you or that he really does still love you in spite of what he is saying, you are only coming off as needy, desperate and possibly a little bit crazy.
Any attempts to convince him that he has made a mistake by breaking up with you are only going to be met with the utmost resistance. He is going to stick to his guns and argue with you which is only going to make things worse. I know... people say all the time that the best thing to do is to talk through your problems but do you see where this usually gets you? It just tends to make things worse. Avoid saying the words "I love you" or "I still love you" also since this is the epitome of desperation. A person doesn't love someone who treats them poorly and by doing so you only lower your self worth in his eyes. Hold your words in and save them for a day when they will be said as a response to his declaration of love. How sweet will that be? And if you doubt me I am here to tell you that indeed it will happen if you play your cards right and regain your composure and self esteem.
So how do we get started? My first recommendation is to give him a little time and space and take advantage of this time and space to get yourself pulled back together. Let the emotions cool down for a bit and give him some time to actually start missing you for once. If you have been a continued daily fixture in his life he has little chance to actually start to miss you and let the reality of this breakup fully sink in. Guaranteed that there will be times when he will wonder about you, what you're doing and ponder reaching out to you in moments of weakness. If this does happen though, resist the temptation to answer that phone and start back with the "I love you's". You could undo everything that you have done just by letting him sit and think for a while.
Now, I want you to think about something. What is the most painful part of your breakup? What causes you the most pain? Is it the thought that he might actually move on and begin dating another woman? Is it the thought that he never even really loved you? Is it his callousness to your feelings and emotions and pleas for mercy as he destroyed your heart with his unfeeling comments and jabs when he broke up with you? Now, how would it feel to be able to turn the tables on him and have him feel the same torturous pain that you have been feeling from this breakup? How would it feel to have him come crawling back to you begging you for a second chance. This is typically what works best and the most powerful way of getting your ex boyfriend back.
No amount of logic or convincing that you really do love him is going to give you the change of heart that you are looking for. No amount of assurance that you love him in a way that no other woman ever will is going to get him to change his mind. Hours and hours of talking about your problems and promises to change aren't going to bring him crawling back to you proclaiming his love for you no matter what so called professionals might say. He is only going to come back once it is more painful for him to be away from you and once he changes his mind all on his own that you are the woman that he wants. This is the only long term solution that has been proven to work time and time again.