Help others to help yourself

Help others to help yourself

Help others to help yourself

The secret to enduring happiness has nothing to do with putting yourself first, nurturing your inner child, or any of the many other forms of narcissism so popular among today's psychologists. Like everyone else who has spent much time in the vain pursuit of self-satisfaction, I have come to realize that fulfillment in your work environment is usually about doing less for yourself and more for your colleagues. This is not a revolutionary concept. It was the essential message of great spiritual leaders. There is a saying. " Happiness and fulfillment in life will come to you not when you are making yourself the centre of your universe but when you forget yourself and look outside. You may know that already. And you may be much further along in making it part of your life. When I think about the happy people I admire, they are invariably those who are always looking out for others. I'm not speaking of missionaries or professionals in charitable organizations but of ordinary people. They are the people who ask you how you are doing with your latest project and care about your answer. They visit you when you are ill, and give you little gifts or kind words of encouragement when your customer has just lodged a complaint against you.

When involved in a negative conversation, particularly one that involves gossip or bad mouthing, they find something positive to say.Of course, that is not to say you should aim to become an angel. Rather, the message is in the progression of character with a radical change in mindset over time. These are ordinary people with the same number of problems that other ordinary people have, yet they don't ask you to pity them. When they see you limping because of an injured knee, they don't tell you about their aching backs. They give you sympathy and recommend helpful treatments. When everyone gets up from a meal just hosted by a colleague and rushes off to have an after-dinner drink or smoke, they linger with the host, helping out by cleaning the dishes or wiping off the table. They know the names of your wife and children . They remember your birthday. They know how you take your coffee. They remember when you first joined the company. And though they want you to be better and stronger and more successful than you are, they never give you the feeling that they are unsatisfied with what you are right now.

Many of us tempted on a daily basis to become a living composite of every bad habit, obnoxious inclination and selfish reflex known to man. To be a better person, spend less time thinking about your own happiness and more time trying to make other people happy. Start with your immediate family. Your spouse and children, mother and father, aunts and uncles, and nieces and nephews were not brought into this world to listen to and /or solve your problems. That's your job. Spend less time complaining to them and more time listening to their complaints. Do share your dreams and ambitions with them, but don't talk too long. And be sure you give them the time and attention they need to share their dreams and ambitions with you. Make your friends and colleagues happy too. Smile when you see them. Listen to their stories. Give them the advice they want and shut up when they don't want any. Become the person they turn to when the chips are down. Encourage them to overcome their faults. Above all, be loyal to them.

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