How To Date After Divorce

Your marriage is over

Your marriage is over. After giving yourself time to heal and to recover, it is time to move on and resume dating. But, what is the best way to go about it? There are different methods for different situations, and no one thing will work universally, but there are some general tips.

If there are children involved, make sure that they are okay with the whole divorce situation before changing anything else. Be aware that dating is a learning process, so proceed with caution before introducing dates to your children. Do not allow an ever changing parade of faces to come and go from your children's lives. They have had enough upheaval already. Wait until you yourself have gotten a bit more serious with someone before bringing the kids into it. On the other hand, do not ever hide the fact that you have children.

A divorce does more than change the family dynamic. Your relationship with friends will have changed as well. Though they will all deny it, your friends have all drawn battle lines before, during and after the marriage ended. No matter who has remained friends with you, the relationship itself will have changed. Maybe that single friend you have always admired can be something more now that you are single too. Feel uncomfortable with that idea? Then maybe he has other single friends he can introduce you to.

Questioning yourself and your attractiveness is normal after a divorce. Your husband no longer wants you after all, and you might allow yourself to think that no one else will either. Part of the healing process is knowing that your work as a human is not judged by the state of your marriage or the opinion of one man. Things did not work out with a single individual, not the whole gender.

The hardest part of dating after divorce, or of dating in general for that matter, is the first date. One you have made it through that very first date without a lot of emotional scars, the you will know you are on the road to recovery.

Sign up for a class at the community college and get out there meeting people. Before you know it, you will have a whole new circle of friends and potential dates. Get out there and start living your life again. Even if you do have children, you deserve some adult time with adult people. Get a new hair cut or a cute new outfit to signal your rebirth back into the world. Smile as much as you can, even if you have to fake it at first. Soon, those fake smiles will turn into the real thing and you will catch the eye of a nice man. Take it slowly, and realize that dating, especially after a divorce is about learning and growing. There will be failures. You might get your heart bruised, maybe even broken a time or two before you get it right. But one lesson that your divorce should have taught you is this: you are far stronger than you ever thought possible and you will get through this too, better, stronger and wiser on the other side.

How To Date After Divorce

By: Meredith

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