Is Your Self Esteem Just About Your Looks And Will Nip-and-tuck Help?
What do most women have in common? Each of us has reached--or will reach--a point
of feeling dissatisfied with something about ourselves as we get older. Women need to dispel the myths and take pride in themselves to change these negative self-images (too fat, too thin, too flat-chested, too old, too gray, not pretty, not valued). We want and need to take back our personal power and re-invent ourselves as beautiful women with inner beauty and gifts to share.
We can learn so much from each other about what we can d, and ho, to succeed at feeling young, energetic and valued at any age: find mentors; find resources for your health, your relationships, and your finances; and find ways to help you redefine or, if you choose, to reinvent yourself so you can be all you wish to be.
The point is not to give in or give up your inner beauty and personal power. Women of all ages can take a different journey, a journey whose destination is a place where they can all feel good about themselves, inside and out.
In my research with more than 1,000 women, I found that women have a major concern with their changing appearance as they grow older. They tell me that they do not feel valued or honored as older women in our society.
Many women also said they really never talked about getting older to anyone and felt like it was some taboo topic. If they were not trying to dye, diet, nip, and tuck to beat the clock they felt excluded from the conversation.
Increasing numbers of women are choosing to counteract the physical effects of aging with plastic surgery. It's not just Hollywood stars or celebrities anymore. It's your next-door neighbors, your librarian, your child's teacher, your best friend--or maybe even you--who are getting a face lift, some liposuction, or a little laser work done.
Many of these women say they feel better about themselves, their self-esteem improves, and some even say they feel sexier. Now those are all positive things for a woman to experience, right? Her business, right? It's disappointing, however, to listen to women who don't want surgery and hear the way they criticize and condemn the ones who do.
Come on, now, women. Considering the messages our society sends out about our appearance, it's a wonder we're not all standing in line for a procedure, so can't you give your sisters a break and not heap your scorn upon them, too?
As a parent, I think it is troubling when teenage girls who have not yet had time to grow their own are asking for a boob job for their sixteenth birthdays. I hope their parents would get them some counseling and mentoring to help them develop a stronger sense of themselves before going under the knife. In fact, many plastic surgeons employ a psychologist to help ensure that women have a healthy, realistic expectation of what a procedure will do for them.
My friend Lois W. Stern, author of Sex, Lies and Cosmetic Surgery, offers this helpful list to determine if there are other health issues you should resolve before elective surgery.
~ Do you have a kidney or liver disorder?
~ Do you have a bleeding disorder?
~ Are you a heavy smoker or drinker?
~ Are you considerably overweight?
~ Do you scar easily?
~ Do you have any other serious medical condition(s) such as diabetes, high blood pressure, heart or lung disease, or severe allergies?
~ Are you currently under treatment or medication for anxiety or depression?
~ Do you have a drug problem?
Are you in the middle of a life crisis, such as divorce or loss of a spouse?
~ Have you had many different cosmetic surgery procedures at different times during your life?
~ Are you generally unhappy with your overall physical appearance?
~ Are you preoccupied or obsessed with a part of your face or body that others do not consider unattractive?
~ Are you suffering from depression?
~ Are you considering cosmetic surgery primarily as a means to improve your social life, resolve marital conflicts, or please someone else?
If you answer yes to any of these questions, be sure to consult with your physician and/or a mental health specialist before undertaking elective surgery.
We all know that the person we are inside is what really matters to our lives and happiness. So, if you want to re-paint your walls, go ahead and enjoy the new look. But you and everyone else will know you are still living in the same house.
by: Nancy D. O'Reilly
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