Mid Life Coaching for Women - What Would You Do If Your Partner Was Having an Affair?
Mid Life Coaching for Women - What Would You Do If Your Partner Was Having an Affair
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As a Mid Life Coach for Women, I often deal in emotive subjects such as affairs and divorce. When I asked my Facebook Fan Page for their own responses, here are some of the printable ones:
Seek Help - Get a lawyer so that you know your rights. Find a marriage guidance counsellor, life coach, psychologist to help deal with the immediate pain and the loss of self-esteem. Many surprisingly said they would not discuss this immediately with family or friends unless the outcome was clearly that of divorce.
Who would you first turn to?
Be Strong -If children are involved, life goes on, being strong for them is the way forward. It gives you a reason to get up the next morning and carry on as usual even if it is far from a normal day.
Work on you - You can only work on you and it is a waste of space, time and energy to attempt to change others. It only diminishes the little strength that you have at this time.
How strong would you be?
Leave him or Forgive Him? -The responses were mixed:
Wish him and his new partner luck - if he's done it once - he'll do it again!
If it was only a one night stand - forgive him.
Often you don't have the choice - you just have to pick up the Mid Life pieces. Forgiveness comes much further on down the line.
Would you leave him or forgive him?
Self Blame -Many stated from experience, you spend a lot of time wondering 'Why' - What did you do wrong? What could you have changed? Until one day, you realize that this is the outcome and you have to live with it.
Everything happens for a reason, just you don't know why at the time. Letting go of the why and the how and accepting that it just is, can be the hardest part. Letting go is the 'Sensibly Selfish' way forward.
How would you let go?
Get a Life! -Recognize your feelings and fears, and then decide what you want to do about them.
Work on putting together your future, getting out, making new friends, creating new hobbies and interests becomes important - focusing on the positive key is the Sensibly Selfish way forward.
What would you change?
Communicate -Anger is everyone's immediate response, and this often clouds conversation. Listening without judgement is the only way to communicate during this time. Do not listen to what they think of you, any blame or judgement is really a reflection of what they feel towards themselves, just listen to what they feel towards you and make decisions based upon this. Taking a step back and seeing the wood and not the trees is often beneficial.
How will you communicate?
Remembering that 'This Too Shall Pass' is a Mid Life Sensibly Selfish solution: Communicating, getting a life, getting help, being strong, avoiding self blame, leaving him or forgiving him, getting on with it are all key elements.
If yo
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Mid Life Coaching for Women - What Would You Do If Your Partner Was Having an Affair? Anaheim