Outsmarting Procrastination Using Your Motivational Intelligence
Outsmarting Procrastination Using Your Motivational Intelligence
I always say to my clients, "It takes more work and more time, AND is more unpleasant to "NOT DO" most tasks than to actually do them." So why do we procrastinate?
Take a moment here to increase your understanding of the procrastination dynamic. If you integrate this knowledge into your understanding of yourself, you will develop the intuition to automatically halt it and largely eliminate it from your life.
Nobody likes the self-nagging, avoiding, and dreading that we experience when we are putting something off. So, here is what is important to understand. Procrastination is usually rooted in trying to avoid feeling bad about ourselves. This can be so strong, that even thinking about the dreaded activity makes us feel bad in some way. It's not just that we don't enjoy the activity; it is really much more powerful than that. Essentially it's that thinking about, moving toward, and doing those specific activities leads us to feeling badly inside. Our thoughts and the activity itself create a negative feeling inside us about ourselves!!
Whenever we do something, within us are created feelings about who we are - about how good we are - our own value. When we read, shop, spend time with someone, or conduct a meeting we carry with us strong conscious and/or subconscious feelings related to our self image. Ultimately, we don't enjoy participating in things that make us feel inherently bad about ourselves.
So it is with procrastination. Just the thought of performing a chore or task we don't enjoy makes us feel bad, so we avoid thinking about it. As we move closer to the deadline of when it needs to be completed, and even miss the deadline, we feel progressively worse about ourselves as we consider doing it. Perhaps we delay, because we feel incompetent, or that we will experience trouble doing it. Maybe we have a sense of frustration that we don't have all the tools we need to get the job done, or irritated and demeaned that we shouldn't have to spend our time performing it. Whatever our thinking - the problem lies in the fact that, as we "consider" or think about doing the activity, we conjure up bad feelings about ourselves. Guilt rises, frustration rises, revulsion, resentment etc. By avoiding the unwanted task, we are desperately trying to keep the discomforting feelings from entering our thoughts at all. When those thoughts come into play, we quickly push the whole proposition to the back of our minds, making it harder and harder to get started.
So, here is what you do to prevent this. . . . Begin the dreaded task IN AN INSTANT just as soon as possible! Give yourself a time limit of just two minutes. Dive in without a lot of thought, or self talk or excuses. Tell yourself it's for only two minutes, and then repeat this process again for another two minutes at another time, or perhaps five or even ten! If two is all you can do, that is fine. Jumping in first before too much negative thought, turns the tables on the dynamic and serves to make you feel good about being on the ball! You'll feel in control. Your action serves to refute any basis for bad feelings. You begin to have a sense that maybe "I can do this" and you may even find that you start to enjoy the task a bit. Often times we find that the avoidance of a task is the most painful part of doing that task. The self imposed "dread" that we project onto that task may actually be the most painful part of doing the task. The job itself may prove to be much easier, shorter, and better than you originally built it up to be. If you get started early, you may actually emerge from that endeavor inspired - and your level of self esteem will improve as a result!
If you're like most people you probably brush your teeth before you go to bed at night. Most people just do it because it's a good thing to do for the health of their teeth, not a lot of thought goes into the task, and it's just what you do before bedtime. Now, what if you woke up in the morning and just put on your exercise clothes and shoes, just as effortlessly as you brushed your teeth? Would you be more likely to go for a workout if you were ready to go and didn't consider all of the reasons why you don't want to work out, but instead just jumped in and began without a lot of negativity or ruminating on whether or not you really feel like going, or want to exercise this morning!
What kind of progress might you make if you just jumped in? Of course some planning and preparation must go into this process ahead of time. You must first decide in advance that you're going to work out and what that might look like. Perhaps you'll visit a local gym or arrange to meet with a friend for a walk. Set out your clothes and shoes the night before to help affirm your plans. When you awaken don't think a whole lot about it just get dressed and go, like you planned without any negativity or thinking about all of the reasons why you don't feel like working out. This is an example of how using your motivational intelligence can help you overcome procrastination being smart about the set up, getting yourself ready to succeed. By outsmarting your instinct to delay or even worse, talking yourself out of the exercise completely, you can more readily "jump in" and make steps toward success. Each successful baby step that moves you closer toward your goal will empower you and encourage youand you'll find you have less trouble getting out the door as the days go by.
Whatever it is you need to do, continue to "Jump In" without over analyzing too much. Do something easy towards your task, and do it "in an instant". A good way might be to initiate your task, for some minimal amount of time that you determine- two minutes, five, whatever is easy enough for you to lure you into positive activity. Practice repeatedly initiating, just to show yourself your inner strength. It's like training a muscle. The more you practice instantly initiating, where you would have normally procrastinated, the easier it becomes to start.
Accumulate small amounts of progress. You are training yourself to initiate. Essentially you are creating a nice smooth start-up path. Each time you realize you are succeeding at initiating something you were resistant to doing before, give yourself some positive feedback, perhaps intentionally laugh, smile broadly, or determine to carry a playful attitude. These physical positives create a chemistry within that help your body to recognize that it's succeeding and help to reinforce the positive strides you're making toward your goal.
Definitely do not sit and reinforce critical and negative thoughts - they will undermine you. If you have to, think about other things that make you happy while you do the task. This causes your body to respond in kind and you will begin to feel optimistic. Create a setting for success by setting a positive environment for yourself, perhaps playing music, lighting a pleasantly scented candle, have a soothing cup of tea, so long as your are doing something that you associate with pleasant feelings. Say to yourself inside, "I am awesome for being such a self-starter". Congratulate yourself on how easy and fun you are able to make this task. Think of all the good things about making progress. You can think of this as planting flowers along the nice smooth start up path. Make starting and making whatever level of progress, be it two minutes or ten, consciously pleasant and fun - and if it is a short task, just knock it out - get it done. Give yourself a reward for accomplishing that task. Make a deal with yourself such as "If I can persist in engaging all the way until 1:00, then I will get to ____." And figure out a small positive reward. Make it something you'll look forward to, and then, as you enjoy it, happily associate the reward with your task, thinking about all the good things about your task, the reward, the progress you're making and how you are creating a positive feeling around it.
In a sense this could almost be considered "mental judo". Flip the self-criticism, feeling bad dynamic on its head. Strengthen your initiating muscles and hone your anti-procrastination skills with easy challenges. And remember, have as much FUN with these little steps as possible. Learn to feel good in small successes and give yourself a break. Teach yourself how to feel good by instantly self-initiating in the perceived unpleasant task. Decide to change your association with the things you must do. Get started by doing something easy in an instant!
What could you achieve if you were more motivated and inspired?
Blair Relf, Ph.D.is the leading expert onMotivational Intelligence - using it to dramatically improve performance. Dr. Relf's site at http://www.MotivationalIQ.com provides many free tools including interactive assessments that map out your motivational life in color, engaging MP3's that help you increase your achievements, and an enlighteningMotivational Intelligence special report. He works closely with people in highly affordable programs using dynamic groups, virtual technologies and innovative approaches to help achieve goals, break through barriers and take lives to an entirely new level. Visit online at http://www.MotivationalIQ.com for more information.
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