Scientific Studies...Not So Much

Author: Steve Yeich

Author: Steve Yeich

If, as many women like to say, a man's brain is in his sexual part, then getting circumcised as an adult would be like having a lobotomy. And any man who consents to get getting circumcised in the first place is a little short on gray matter to begin with.Yet, that is exactly what some men did to be part of a study where it was concluded that the men who were recently circumcised contracted less STD's than the uncircumcised men over a two year period, supposedly due to less foreskin. Foreskin, schmoreskin, the "scientists" conducting the study should have also concluded that the men who agreed to be circumcised were too sore for sex and too idiotic to attract a woman in the first place.You got to love these "scientific" studies that you read about in the newspapers (no wonder newspapers are going out of business). Another of these so-called studies concluded that men who played video games were fatter than men who didn't play them. Well DUH! They have the most well conditioned thumbs but the rest of their bodies are seriously neglected.Let's just imagine how a video gamer would have survived in the 19th century:Farmer: It's time to plow the field.Video dude: Well, I never heard of that game, but I'm up for some virtual farming.Farmer: (Incredulous, he looks around to see if he's on Candid Camera) No, you grab the plow and hook it up to the mule.Video dude: (wrinkles his forehead) Oh yeah, well, um, my thumbs are a little sore and the doctor told me I might be developing carpal tunnel syndrome. So, I'm going to have to beg off on the plowing deal.Farmer: (Thinks to himself, that's okay this guy doesn't need to eat, he can live off of his fat for months) Maybe I'll send you off to fight in the Civil War with my sons.Video dude: Now you're talking , dude, I'm totally awesome at "World of Warcraft". My thumbs are feeling better already. Where's the game room?Farmer: (Shakes his head and thinks to himself, maybe I could have him feed the pigs and if I'm lucky he'll get swine flu. Then I can ship his fat ass back to the 21st century and maybe he can get some of the free "pull the plug" healthcare that will probably be popular then.)The last of the "silly science studies", that somebody apparently got paid to do, concluded that men were more likely than women to suffer noise-induced hearing loss. I'm sorry, the jokes just write themselves on this one, but I'm going to go with the really obvious one and say, again, DUH. Of course they do from listening to their wives so much over the years (ba-dum-pum.)Let's face it, there is a lot of science that is very worthy (man going to the moon) and some that is very unworthy (socialized healthcare where all the sick people get to suffer equally) and some that is just a great source of humor (Al Gore inventing the Internet.)But the real source of silly science is the government agencies that fund them. So, to those people who approve them I say they should be part of the studies and be "rewarded" with a free lobotomy (the kind you see in paragraph #1.)
About the Author:

Steve Yeich is a humor writer with over 25 years of experience. He has written jokes for numerous comedians who have performed on the Las Vegas strip, most notably Jay Leno and Joan Rivers. He has done various forms of script writing including for movies and TV. He has also written over 100 TV and radio commercials. To see more of his articles go to http://darnfunnyonline.com

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